Team NutSac

Two weeks ago Trip sends me a text message saying Sparky wants to be on my card at the Scorcher. I respond to Trip saying that Sparky should join me in the Open field if he’s so gung ho to face me. Sparky did after all challenge several players to play Open at Whispering Falls. I figure I’ll call his bluff in his quest for attention.

The day before the Scorcher was scheduled to be held last week Harford County closes the parks because hurricane Irene is coming up the east coast and it might rain on Saturday! So the tourney was postponed until this weekend. Friday Dick calls to see about carpooling with me, but it’s the same old conversation about what time I’m rolling out.  Dick decides to drive himself.

Saturday morning I roll out and take the scenic back roads to Street. A town named after a road? Unlike two years ago I find the course very easily and the drive is much shorter. The one major point of interest about Scarboro Hills is that the course is located adjacent to the county landfill. That’s right. The course is next to a working landfill! You enter the parking lot by going down a gravel driveway past two homes (one occupied, the other boarded up) to find the course half a mile off the main drag. I’m not super early and am relegated to the overflow parking area i.e. a grassy slope. On the plus side this affords me a nice view of the landfill while I eat my lunch between rounds!

I hike up to tourney central to check in. Jeff, Dave and Don greet me enthusiastically which involves some inappropriate touching on Don’s part. I learn Sparky isn’t playing Open. He’s chasing another Association title in the Intermediate field to add to his 2011 collection. I stay in the Open division. I pick up my players pack disc (which naturally I’ll never throw) and note that it’s stamped with the original tourney date of last month. Aha! The disc geeks will be in a froth over the collectible value of these discs. Visions of eBay riches will float before their eyes. At the end of the day I give mine to Dick to give to some newbie.

I hike back to the car, get my bag and hike back to the course. I head over to #1 to throw some warm-up drives and, as usual, run into Chet. He’s sitting forlornly on the bench. The tourney hasn’t even started! I toss several drivers down the fairway. I’ve gone back to the Bag of Understable Thunder for this tourney so I’ve got five drivers, two mids, and two putters with me today. No one seems particularly impressed. I then head over to 18′s basket to miss some practice putts. TD Jeff bellows every five minutes or so with an announcement. Finally it’s players meeting time. Dick moseys up shoving a cream cheese bagel in his mouth. Trip finally appears. It’s a mercifully brief players meeting. Trip says he and I are on the same card (hole #3) and I’m on top so I have to go fight the crowd at the scoreport to get the card. As I mosey back to the tent Dick informs me he’s wrangled his way onto my card. One of the staff fills the card out for me and hands it to me. We head out to #3.

After missing some practice putts on #2′s basket we go to threes tee to find 3 people waiting for us. It turns out that our fourth is young Tyler whose parents are walking along to watch him play. I’ve seen this before with young kids, but Tyler looks like he might be 16 years old. He’s practically Dick’s size!  The round begins. On #4 my Coyote turns over early to Dick’s glee and looks like trouble. Walking up to the basket we find the Coyote parked inside the circle for my first deuce of the day. On #5 I drive with the Aviar for another deuce. I remember playing like this years ago!  On #7 I unleash the Vulcan across the field which elicits ohhh’s and ahhh’s from Tyler’s parents. On #12 comedy finally ensues. First I again drive the Vulcan across the field to the delight of Tyler’s parents. Dick lumbers up with his Groove  (which he maintains he’s broken in and I maintain is to overstable for him) and promptly hyzers it out of bounds. Trip and I giggle. We continue to catch up to the card in front of us. There’s a player in a red shirt who looks like a heart attack waiting to happen. He’s wheezing his way around the course. Dick is no longer the favorite to face plant during the round. There are odd mushrooms all over the course. I wonder if this is related to the landfill. Dick wins the card with a 61. He’s off to the Intermediate division next round to finally try and finish ahead of Sparky. I card a 63.  Trip threw a 68 (three behind the man-child Tyler’s 65) which he lugs away with him to Advanced Masters (Intermediates over 40).

Lunch is spent listening to Trip’s loud (I shot a 68!) head banging music on one side and two mothers nagging their kids to eat lunch on the other side. I ponder texting the guys to play Rate the MILF, but it’s a weak field. I realize that I’m not at Burke Lake anymore! Hiking back to tourney central I learn I’m not DFL in Open. Hello Chas Ford! I’ve got him by four strokes. You may recall Chas in his former role as TD Chas of the Gifford-Pinchot Classic. Here’s my chance for revenge for his attempted drowning of me several months ago.

Chas and I head out together to start the second round. I’m starting on #3 again. Chas and I warm up by missing some practice putts on #2′s basket. Joining us on the bottom Open card is Brian and The Spanger. Brian and Spang are only a few strokes off the lead. Chas and I are looking at a personal battle not to be DFL. Chas insists he can reel me in and pass me.

The round begins…with Chas parking and deucing the basket. I take a four. Chas is within two. On #4 Chas again has a nice drive for a deuce. I three. Chas is within one. On #6 I power the Monarch to the 10 meter line and make the putt for the deuce. Chas is 2 behind me again. Over the next several holes of mediocrity Brian, Spang and I all threaten to leave. Spang started out hot deucing several holes with his 86 Softie putter. No one else seems to notice that we have both a NutSac and a Softie in the same group. Brian is plodding along with a bunch of threes. On #14 Chas has the tee and proceeds to take five throws to negotiate 200′ of wooded fairway. I three to get my DFL cushion back up to 4 throws. On #15 Spang takes one of his gold discs and throws it into the right side rough. We never see it land. Spang has two discs in his bag that are actually gold. Not yellow like every sports team in the country calls gold, but actual gold colored. I Coyote into the right side rough and it somehow hyzers back into the fairway 20′ to the left of the pin. Chas forehands his Firebird down the fairway and it turns in towards the pin. We walk down the fairway to find Spang’s gold disc 2′ from the basket! Chas is 5′ away. The smart thing for me to do is concede the one stroke to Chas and lay up at the down hill basket. However I’ve been putting decently and it’s only 20′. I run it and miss and end up 20′ down the slope past the basket. My putt for three doinks the tray and rolls 20′ down the slope again. I make the next putt for 4. Chas is two behind me. On #16 Chas has a chance to reel me in more, but he misses a putt so we push the hole. On #17 Chas is pin high but 35′ to the right laying two. I sissy up under the basket with my third throw confident Chas can’t make the putt. He announces he’s running it and makes the putt! He’s one behind me now with three holes to go. Chas informed me at the start of the round that he’s tied for DFL in his last three events. He feels tying for DFL is better than being sole DFL. I’m not sure I agree with this philosophical stance. On #18 Chas again forehands down the fairway. I end up in the left rough. Chas makes his putt for deuce. I three. He’s reeled me in. We’re tied with two to go. On #1 Chas says he’s playing it safe to avoid the OB along the left side of the fairway. He forehands the Firebird (who carries a Firebird anymore!?!?) 45′ short of the basket. Spang steps up and hyzers OB. Brian steps up and hyzers OB. This fills me with confidence. I power the Sidewinder down the fairway to land 33′ short of the basket. The basket this time is on an elevated podium that looks like something put together by the local high schools drama club for the fall production. On the other side of the basket from Chas and I is a down hill slope leading to an OB line 3′ behind the 10 meter line. Chas says he’s not risking it so he sissys up to the podium. I decide to go for the deuce to stick Chas with solo DFL. My putt sails right side chain high past the basket. We push the hole. On #2 Chas hyzers to the left side of the fairway leaving him with a blocked look to the basket. Spang announces this is my chance. The Monarch hyzers out on me into the trees on the left side. Chas blows his approach with his Roc to leave himself 40′ out. I have to punch out to the fairway and then throw the black Aviar under the basket from 80′ out. Chas can be a hero and run his putt like I did on #1, and not be tied for DFL, but if he misses he could go over the drop-off behind the basket and lose the hole to me. He tells me he’s going for it, then he sissys up under the basket for a push 4 and we end up tied…for DFL.

So I carried 4 discs during the first 16 events of the season and shot 902 rounds. Yesterday I carried my old full compliment of discs and shot…902 rounds!

Photos are in the Yahoo! group.

Next up for me is TBD.

We will meet again though Mr. Ford,

Your Disc Golf Hero

Footnotes:

Dick (as predicted by Sparky and I at lunch) folded in the second round after being two off the Intermediate lead and lost his bid for a title. He did however finish ahead of Sparky in the division, but he cracked his beloved Roc “Pinky” and has to retire it. At the rate Dick is losing plastic he’ll be down to fewer discs than me in about three more events.

Trip took the anchor that was his first round 68 and converted that into 5th place (out of 6) in Advanced Masters. He finished ahead of TD Jeff. He jetted out of the tourney so fast yesterday he might have been home before I turned in my second round scorecard.