After the beat down handed out by Jerman to me, Dick and Trip in 2011 I figured we were done with year long bets. Jerman fished around for suckers, but only reeled in Trip.

Trip and Jer agreed to the standard $100 per man ratings based bet with a 10 Association round minimum. Last weekend the two of them went down to Loriella.

Round 1: Jerman by 8.

Round 2: Jerman by 20.

Total for the day: Jerman pounds Trip by 28 throws! That’s not a victory. That’s not a beat down. That’s an atom bomb on Nagasaki! Prelim ratings for them were:

Jerman: 968ish

Trip: 852ish

Conversation of casual observers of this sporting tragedy:

Dick: If I was George I’d never play again.

Hawk: At minimum I’d get a new Association membership under another name.

Dick: He renewed as a “pro”?!?!

Hawk: I’d go with something like Jorge Cafe’.

Bet over! It took a couple of days for Trip to humble himself, call Jerman and beg out of the bet. Jerman magnanimously agreed. Trip sobs gratefully and hangs up. This will go down as one of the greatest moments of disc shame ever.

Meanwhile Jerman turns his gambling jones towards Dick. Negotiations ensue. Days pass. Nothing is agreed to. Last season Jerman was like Godzilla trampling through downtown Tokyo. Clearly only one thing can stop him…a hero.

I stepped in yesterday. In the past I’ve done several of these ratings based bets. One year Dick and I did an average ca$h won bet. Using the ratings gives the Association too much credibility, and forces participants to play a lot of Association events. Since the Association is evil we really don’t want to encourage that! We all suck to bad to try and play “pro” and do a ca$h bet. I proposed a bet, and after some minor tweaks by the boys, we have a new bet:

1. Jer, Dick and I will play Advanced this season. No other divisions are allowed. We’re sticking to the “amateur” thing. No ageist “amateur” allowed.

2. Any Association or Z Tier event qualifies for the bet.

3. In lieu of ratings this will be a head to head bet. As long as at least two of us are in the same Advanced field the highest placed finisher earns 1 point for the “win”. 2nd (or 3rd if applicable) earns nothing because 2nd place is for losers. 3rd place is never spoken of.

4. If calendar 2012 ends and there is a points tie there will be a one round tiebreaker played at Rockburn in January 2013.

5. Each of us are putting in the standard $100 for the winner to take all.

6. We’ll each throw in $5 per event just for additional bragging rights.

7. NutSac is putting up a double NutSac (color to be chosen by the winner) as the 2012 trophy bag.

8. We have to email each other at least one week in advance of any event we intend to play.*

*This stipulation was thrown in by Jerman who cleverly thought ahead and wanted to avoid collusion of two players against the third going off and playing each other in tourneys and “winning” points against the third.  Would collusion have likely eventually occurred amongst the 2nd and 3rd place players come August? Have you met us?!?!

With the terms settled in a series of late night emails, and early morning text messages we agreed to meet at Rockburn for a practice round in preparation for next Saturday’s Spring Equinox where someone is going to take a 1 point lead in the season standings over the other two.

While in College Park eating chili at the Hard Times Cafe I get some text messages from Jer. He and his 9 year old are scoping out the action at the Inner Harbour Hooters.

We arrive at Rockburn and are joined by Bobby. Apparently Bobby and Jer are partnering for next Sunday’s doubles tourney. Team name is TBD but I suggested Those 70′s Guys:

Note to Bobby. You might want to stay away from the color brown. Dick arrives and I suggest we play doubles as Dick and I are partnered up for the tourney as The Antagonistas.

At #1 we run into a large group of folk with lids, and hot women. We are very envious. We can easily outplay them, but they have hot women.

The Antagonistas take a 1 throw lead on #1. We take a 2 throw lead on #3 when I bomb in the deuce putt from Dick’s drive. After Dick executes some bizarre called Flutie forehand approach on #4 we appear to be ready to take a 3 throw lead until we both miss an 11′ putt. On #5 we again miss 15′ers to push the hole. On #6 Dick putts for the deuce throwing a hyzer putt just like YDGH does that crashes into the bottom of the tray and bounces right out. As this is happening Dick tumbles to the ground (as he falls at least once every round he plays) landing on his IPhone. The IPhone is amazingly undamaged and Apple should consider using this in a future marketing campaign.

“Can withstand the impact of a 250 pound man!”

 Jerman steps up and makes the deuce for The 70′s Guys:

Artwork from #7′s bench:

Bobby “I’ve Got A Shot For This” Noble on #7:

Jerman saves a 3 for The 70′s Guys on #8:

On #10…

…we give a throw back as Jerman executes a patented Jerry and approaches to 1′ of the basket from 120′ out. On #12 The 70′s Guys call Oxen Ho and give us a throw back. On #13 Dick throws his Cro to within 6′ of the basket for our deuce. 6′ is the outer range of our putting comfort zone. On #15 I drive the Roadrunner across the creek and land near the outer ring of rocks. I call the deuce putt and put it in. Bobby points out this is probably my first ever natural deuce on the hole in this pin position. He would be correct. He’s also wearing a brown shirt. Can you say mudslide? On #16 both teams deuce. On #17 both teams deuce. On #18 we appear to be ready to pick up another throw on The 70′s Guys after Dick drives and I approach to within 4′ of the basket. Then Bobby made this putt to push the hole:

The Antagonistas: 52

The 70′s Guys: 56

More photos in the Yahoo! group.

Well I’m packing up my game and I’m a head out west,

YDGH

Update: When last we spoke I had just completed a round at the DO Days at the Rock Z Tier with no final results available at press time. Results have since been posted for the Gold Division…

Karl Watson  56
Mike Peyton  56
Joel Provencher  58
Toby Henderson  60
Brian Cooke  61
Bobby Nobel  62
Hawk  63
Tom Kim  64

Down goes Dub! Note how YDGH’s celebrity eliminates the need of a last name in the standings. Also my CTP effort garnered me an as yet undelivered disc, but not the coveted grilled cheese gift card…

$20 Grilled Cheese and Company Gift Card – Patrick Smith
Gateway SS Warlock – Rick Romeo
Gateway SS Warlock – Karl Watson
Gateway SS Warlock – Mike Watson
Innova Star Lycan – Joe Pohl
Innova Star Lycan – Hawk
Innova Star Lycan – Peter Frey

Damn you Mr. Smith!

2012 DFL Tour record: 1-0

Wednesday: I had the day off so I got in a practice round at the Rock. On #10 I find this on the basket. Welcome to disc golf:

The highlight was a deuce on 13B:

Yeah I made the putt. Yeah I’m shocked also.

Saturday: I wake up to the sound of howling winds whipping around outside. I wouldn’t even go out to play today except I’ve got a five figure contract to fulfill, so it’s off to Seneca Creek for another Z Tier; the Faux Leap. On the way over I pass this sign and two thoughts cross my mind:

 

1. Don’t they mean your last name?

2. Foiled again!

I arrive at my destination:

I park and figure that since I drove for a hour I might as well sign in. Registration is being handled casually due to the weather conditions:

Sure this looks sketchy. Kind of like something you’d see in a really bad part of town. So you walk up to the guy in the car and hand him money. I step up to the window.

TD Craig: What division are you playing?

Hawk: Gold.

TD Craig: What’s your name?

Hawk: Did you really just ask me that?

TD Craig: Sorry I was looking down at my registration stuff.

Hawk: Seriously? You just asked me who I was? You’ve known me for 9 years.

TD Craig: Okay…okay.

I return to my car and “read” the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue on my Nook Color. I’m not warming up in 30 mph winds. Several players are. I silently mock them. Eventually we’re called in by TD Craig who conducts a thankfully brief players meeting…

…and announces his entry into the Republican Presidential Primary.

I’m on a card with Seneca local Larry (Silver) and Ken (Bronze) and we’re starting on hole #9. My first drive with the Roadrunner is grip locked into the first cedar on the right, but luckily drops to the ground. Larry steps up and shows me how to tee off properly:

Larry proceeds to make this putt on #10 just to piss me off:

Larry and I both have good drives on #13. His driver is outdistanced by my mid range by 5′. When he notices this he looks away in shame. Unfortunately we both waste our drives and eat 4′s. Reviewing what should have been…

Larry: All we had to do was throw up to the p…. tree.

Hawk: The what?

Larry: The p…. tree. From there it’s an easy putt for a 3.

Hawk: The p…. tree?

Ohhhhhh….

On hole #14 we are facing a full blown 25 mph head wind. Several players in the parking lot were mocking my Understable Bag of Thunder in light of the wind conditions. Larry tees off and his drive is swept to the right. Ken tees off and his drive is swept to the right. I step up with the Roadrunner and let it rip…

Larry: That man is not afraid!!!

It’s dead straight and an easy three from there…which I turn into a four.

Larry didn’t have a name for this tree:

My lone highlight of the day as I park #1 with the Coyote:

Ken refused to acknowledge this greatness. Note how he won’t even look at my disc.  Ken bombs away his second shot on #3 for his 3:

My bombing run from 5′ in front of Ken resulted in a 4. Larry unleashes a roller uphill on #7.

I don’t roll. This thing hopped about six times and fought the wind and ended up 4′ from the basket for a deuce. It was pretty awesome. Ken attempts to follow suit with slightly less successful results:

Regular readers may recall a photo of Sparky and a hubcap at last years MAAC at Seneca. It was in a garden plot. Some creative soul has taken the hubcap to the next artistic level:

 

The round ends with Larry going 60 to my 63 and Ken’s 69. Insert your own joke here. I turn the card in and retire to my car for a lunch. I’ve got the standard peanut butter sandwich, apple and a chocolate chip Clif Bar. I’ve also got the current issue of Esquire on the Nook. Hey look it’s more Kate Upton photos. Life is good. After lunch we’re called back in. I’m two strokes ahead of local Buckethead who is DFL after the first round. I’m tied with local James. The lone woman participant Charie is our fourth. She’s completely disinterested in having anything to do with the three of us. Who could blame her? She throws her round and spends the time between her shots texting. I’d never thought of that!

In round one we played holes 1-18 from the short tees. In round two we’re playing holes 10-27 from the long tees. We’re starting on #14 which was the wind tunnel hole I impressed Larry on in round one. From the long tee it’s a slightly more difficult shot with some OB in front of you and along the left side.

Hawk: Is that an Eagle you’re going to tee off with?

Bucket: Yeah. It’s a 10x KC fly dye Eagle.

Hawk: Who uses an Eagle?

Bucket: It’s an awesome disc Mr. Leopard.

Hawk: I’m not liking that OB on the left in this wind.

Bucket: Just get across the creek OB in front of the tee and you’ll be fine.

Hawk: No problem.

I promptly grip lock the drive like I did my first drive in round 1 and hit a tree on the right and crash land inside the OB in front of the tee. Oh oh! My second throw turns over way right and I land up the hill. I have no forward throw. I have to do the plop out back down to the fairway. Meanwhile Bucket had thrown the 10x KC fly dye Eagle right down the fairway. I come up short. Bucket forehands the 10x KC fly dye Eagle towards the basket. He 3′s. I take an 8! Bucket has jumped from DFL 2 down to 3 ahead of DFL on the first hole. I smell smoke and think I see flames coming from my NutSac. I rally and conquer my nemesis hole #15 with a 3 after a sweet drive with the Coyote. On #16 Bucket hits an early tree. The opportunity door swings open for me. I hit a tree and land 15′ ahead of Bucket. The door swings back shut. His approach is way short. The door swings open again. I take my 12x KC black rainbow stamped Pro Aviar and land within 6′ of the basket! It’s rally time. Then Bucket steps up from 60′ away from the basket…

…and nails the putt! Dagger! At this point I’m toast. On #17 James makes this putt:

These guys don’t just want me to be DFL they want to dance on my grave. The wind has picked up from the 1st round and at times seems to be blowing at around 40 mph. My throws are fine, but my soft hyzer putts are getting eaten alive in this stuff. Bucket and James both are firmer putters and are having greater success in the wind as a result. James makes this putt on #18 in an attempt to make me cry:

On #19 Bucket makes this putt!

Yes it’s a DFL free fall for me at this point. This hole was the second time during the tourney that the wind ripped my cap off my head. Good times! When all is said and done Bucket pounds me by 13 in the round! Final results in Gold were:

 109 48 61 JG
115 58 57 Ross Pancoast
115 55 60 Tom Kim
115 54 61 Shawn Johnson
117 56 61 Jack Stanton
119 57 62 Ruan Lugo
121 54 67 Tom Coffin
124 59 65 Chris Howard
126 58 68 Craiger
126 58 68 Karl Watson
130 65 65 Sean Burkett
131 63 68 James Shook
135 56 79 Conrad P.
141 63 78 Hawk Corrick

2012 DFL Tour record: 1-1

I’d like to thank Conrad for trying to bail me out. More photos are in the Yahoo! group.

Start an escort service, for all the right reasons,

YDGH

 

My plan was to go to Rockburn yesterday and get a practice round in for next months Equinox tourney. I figured the DO boys would be there with their big white trailer pimping plastic, so I took three discs I want Brian to dye along to hand over to him. When I arrive there is no white trailer. There’s an a-frame

and a couple of tables set up next to the old white house. Apparently the guys have a free monthly ($2 donation suggested…like at an art museum) where you sign up for either Gold, Silver or Bronze and play on an at least two person card sometime during the day. Scores are tallied, points are awarded and there will be series winners. This was news to me. Since I was there and Brian was badgering me

I decided to throw a couple of singles in the box and participate. In a new twist there was a rather lengthy document discers had to sign.

I’m not sure but I may have just bought a time share down in Boca Raton. Music to study the bible to was playing out of a bizarre looking boom box.

I asked Joel (Brian’s partner…not in a lifemate kind of sense though) if he was going to carry that on his shoulder during his round. He said yes and then wandered off with his mobile phone. It was time to begin (there were 8 of us so this series is obviously catching fire with the locals) and I yelled to Joel that it was time to stop sexting and let’s roll out. He told me to check my phone for a message.

I was carded with Jason who is someone I’ve never met before. Since I was late we were on a twosome which meant a quick jaunt around the course for us. This is very laid back and we were allowed to pick our own starting hole…as we wandered out to the course. Spotting a herd on #1 I suggested to Jason we go to #9. He agreed. A threesome followed us to bask in our greatness. On #11 Jason had a chance to make a decent putt so I busted out the camera and told him I would make him famous by blogging up his make…

…he missed the putt. No problem he’s got this for a three on #12 and he assures me that putting is the strong point of his game…

…and he misses again. So on #18…

…it’s another whiff. We’re both laughing at the absurdity of it at this point. On to #1 where it’s another swing and a miss!

I’m up the hill putting down for my 3. Jason insists on taking my pic to share the jinx of the camera. I hand it over. He fails to get the pic though as my putter bounces off the tray (I’m 15′ out!) and somehow actually plops in for my 3. On #2 my new Roadrunner lands almost close enough for a “parked” call.

I card our first deuce of the day.

Jason tees off on the new/alternate tee on #4:

In true Teeless Wonderland tradition it’s a pile of crush in the woods that makes you look around and wonder when the tide is going to come back in.

I’ve never played this tee before. Jason has. He instructs me on the possibilities and pitfalls.

Jason: You don’t want to go too far forward before you hyzer towards the fairway. There’s a couple of leaners up there that will knock you down and then you’re screwed.

I nod knowingly and throw the Coyote on what appears to be a nice line. I promptly go too far, am knocked down by a leaner, and am now behind a screen of vines looking at a 5. Meanwhile Jason is out on the fairway.

Jason makes a nice putt on #4 to save his four. I don’t get the pic. He does make this putt on #5 to overcome his camera shyness:

We finish the round. I shoot 63 to Jason’s 67. We turn the card in to Brian and I try to leave, but he insists I take a throw at the CTP. There are a couple of trios of discs up for grabs, or a $20 gift card to the Grilled Cheese joint. Now I’m in! My Coyote looks like it might actually go in from the tee area but lands disappointingly far away.

Dub (I’m 990 rated suckas) Kim steps up and takes two throws to steal the coveted grilled cheese gift card from me…

…and goes 0-2. He might still be out there tossing. No “results” are up at this time so I don’t know what happened or most importantly if I’ve got some gourmet grilled cheeses in my future.

More photos in the Yahoo! group.

I’m always in,

YDGH

 

Tuesday evening:

I (and Dick and Trip) receive a text message from Jerman:

The results are in losers. I am your champion. Pay your daddy.

I knew this moment was coming. Much like when you’re in your doctor’s examination room suspecting you know what the test results will be, but hoping for a different outcome. I replied…

Hawk: Who is this?

Jerman: You wish you could forget!

Hawk: Well congratulations. You certainly deserved to win.

Jerman: Thanks man.

Hawk: Would you be willing to accept a post dated check?

Jerman: That is so Sparky!

We agree to meet up Saturday at Patapsco to throw a round. I’d present Jerman with the trophy bag (courtesy of Greg) and pay him the $100 I lost to him in the bet.

Allow me to digress momentarily and once again point out why the Association sucks. Their biggest marketing gimmick to get us suckers to join is to earn a rating. If you aren’t current, you aren’t supposed to have a rating. A couple of months ago Trip and I were on the phone moaning about losing the bet to Jer. I pointed out that we had one last gasp hope. I reminded George that according to the Association if Jerman didn’t renew in time for the January ratings update he’d have no rating and thus no claim to victory. Trip thought this was diabolical and would result in much controversy and drama. I immediately renewed after the first of the year. As you can see here, I am the only tool to have done so:

Name	PDGANum	Current	Class	State/Prov	Country 6	Event #	Rating

Jerry Jerman Kramer

32461

Am

MD

USA

8

936

Rich Myers

19614

Am

MD

USA

2

917

George Brown

11288

Am

MD

USA

17

911

Hawk Corrick

22013

Am

MD

USA

13

911

 

Hello! Why do these stiffs have ratings and they aren’t current?!?! It’s the end of January! Sigh… Let down by the Association yet again! Shocking I know.

I arrive at Patapsco 15 minutes before the 1100 round time with Jerman. The park is crawling with Boy Scouts. The staff at the gate inform me that it’s the Klondike Derby. I’ve never heard of this, but the course is closed. I u-turn and call Jer. We agree to change venue and meet at Druid. I arrive to find Jer practice putting. I present him with the trophy bag which he informs me will be used by Mrs. Kramer. He’s more interested in my $100 cash money. We agree to play a round from the wood (long) tees and include the 9 x-holes in the woods for a total of 27 holes.

Yeah I lost a year long bet to this…

We each deuce #1 to begin a promising round. Jerman deuces 5x following this awkward looking drive:

5x had some interesting arts and crafts going on…

Smokehenge…

Jerman wins the 9 x-holes 30-32. Back on the main course after the first 6 x holes YDGH promptly responds with this drive on #5:

Note Jerman walking away in disgust refusing to watch the deuce putt go in. On #7 Jerman follows this spectacular drive…

…with an approach gone bad resulting in a horrific downhill roll away and takes a five to my three. On the back nine we spend several holes going 3-4 or 4-3. At #18 Jerman has a one stroke lead and the tee. He proceeds to throw his drive into the tee sign for the metal (short) tee and the opportunity door swings open. His second throw (drive) on #18…

Meanwhile my drive is down the fairway. The long pin on 18 is a small island surrounded by OB asphalt. Figuring Jer is taking a five as his approach to the pin is further than my drive I attempt to bomb the Coyote onto the island for a dagger 3. The wind knocks me down, in bounds, but short of the island. It’s a four. Jer Flutie’s his third shot towards the pin and goes OB. However the island is so small the putt is almost a gimme. I win the regular Druid 18 59-61. We’re tied for the day. It’s play-off time. We got to #10 and throw from the metal tee. We both 3. On to #11. We both drive straight down the fairway. It looks like it’s going to be another 3 push. Here’s the master of the Jerry laying up…

I’m on the other side of the trees from Jerman. I also approach and my putter lands right under the basket, pings against the pole, gets on edge and begins to roll away. I end up with this putt to push the hole…

…which I clank off the left side chains giving Jerman the practice round win.

More photos in the Yahoo! group including Buckethead making a putt!

You drive for show, you approach for ratings,

YDGH

Friday after work I’m on the phone with Trip discussing Saturdays first part of this charity event.

Trip: I’ve got a blank chick calling.

Hawk: A what?

Trip: I’ll call you back.

Saturday: Seneca Creek (Maryland)

I’d spent the past week trying to rally the discers on the local Maryland message board to turn out and help El Tie Dye defeat Virginia in this two day food bank fund raiser. The temperature got into the low 60′s and turnout was good. I sign in with El Tie Dye who is his usual fashion disaster:

 

 The man does have good hair though! Starting our round of 27 on hole #20 I spy another fashionista waiting to start his day on #9:

I’m on an all Maryland card with Trip, Sparky and DJ. DJ makes his first putt of the day which bodes well for our team:

Sparky does DJ one better on #22 by making this called putt:

Trip had an impressive putt on this hole himself, but as part of a trend for the day I missed both of Trips good putts. More on this later! Sparky and I were modeling double ‘Sacs version 2.0 and 1.0:

Sparky and I discussed the true NutSac philosophy. I was carrying the standard 4 discs…two drivers (in case you lose one!) a mid and a putter. Sparky had 7 discs. I told him that was too many. Sparky sinks this putt as our card all deuce #23:

Sparky sporting his official NutSac cap and of course the obligatory fashion of the day:

Near the intersection of holes #25 and #8 there is a garden plot…with a hubcap in the center???

Earlier in the day:

Hawk: You’re rolling that? You never roll.

Trip: I roll all the time.

Hawk: No you don’t.

Trip: Watch me.

Trip tees off with a roller on #9:

 

There are two things to note here. He’s doing it just to spite me. He’s wearing his tee-shirt backwards. I eventually pointed this out to him.

DJ tee’s off on #9 and overdrives the basket!

My Roadrunner drive on #9:

Best ever…I threed it naturally, but still better than my standard four on a hole that haunts me. Now this was brilliant. Seneca is made up of three nine hole loops that bring you past the parking lot at the conclusion of each loop. El Tie Dye (and his counterpart Bud from Virginia) started serving lunch at 1130. So whenever your card passed through after 1130 you could grab your lunch. No crowd of 70 folk lined up. Our card rolled in. Ate some huge sausages and we’re back on the course in 15 minutes. It was like a NASCAR pit stop.

Hole #11 Trip announces he’s going to roll across the wooden bridge. You can just make out his red disc…to the right of the bridge heading for the gully.

This was the first of several holes where I turned a great drive into a mediocre or downright disappointing score. As we walk towards the bridge I notice a guy in the group behind us. I don’t know if they are in the tourney or just out for a casual round, but one of them is in the cult. Here’s Rick and his NutSac:

The Roadrunner is my friend again on #12:

Sparky tees off on #13:

YDGH tees off on #13:

Another best drive ever that turned into an unsatisfactory 5.

Trip begins another double circle journey on #13:

Seneca’s version of a whispering fall:

I hate #15. You may recall during last years MAAC tourney I took 5 after 5 after 5 after 5 on this hole. My drive was horrific. I bombed in a third shot within 15′ to save a 4. I considered this a win. Meanwhile DJ parks the basket and deuces this mother:

This is Tripwire reverting into full Suicide Bomber mode as he five putts (you read that right) on his way to a 7 on #15.

Note the tee shirt is correct now. My drive on #18 with my new friend the Roadrunner. 

The round is complete. Sparky rolls out for his dinner date at the Bangkok Garden. Feel free to insert your own joke here. So day one ends with Maryland way out in front of Virginia due to turnout. The field is broken down into three divisions (Gold, Silver and Bronze) in this ratings based tourney. Sparky, El Tie Dye and me are playing Silver.

Silver
Tom Edwards MD 90 
Larry Pearce MD 90 
Mark Stiles MD 90
Hawk Corrick MD 92
Mark Sherwood MD 93 
DJ Anderson MD 94 
Jimmy Baker MD 94 
Rick Honn MD 94
John Buck MD 96
Steve Ritenour MD 96
Andrew Francis MD 98
Steve Simpson MD 98
Tom Transtrum MD 98
Justin Duncan MD 100
George Brown MD 101
Colin C. VA 101
Jens Svenson MD 103
Evan Uhl VA 105
Ken Winkleman VA 105
John Merhi MD 109
Kai Svenson MD 225

We finished lumped together near the top. Sparky is demoralized by finishing behind me. Trip didn’t fair as well on the day. There’s an incredibly complicated points system here. Basically everyone earns their team 1 point for playing. There are some placement points for finishing in the top of a division. Extra points for being really young or really old or really female

Sunday: Giles Run (Virginia)

The course is offically knows as Giles Run Meadow at Laurel Hill Park. There are two important things to know about Giles Run:

1: There are thorn bushes everywhere. It is the thorniest course I’ve ever played. Not only are the thorns disc eaters, but they are all played as Out of Bounds. The unofficial course motto is: You’ll lose two discs a round, but find two others!

2: The fancy course name can’t hide the fact that the course is built on the grounds of the old Lorton prison!

I sign in with Bud:

As mentioned above, a lot of discs get lost at this course:

Seeing as how I’m only sporting a Roadrunner, a Leopard, a Coyote and a KC Aviar I’m thinking that I may be finishing these 18 holes with an empty bag and a putter. I had considered loading up Sparky style, but decided that would be the gutless route to go.

Warming up pre-players meeting with El Tie Dye and Bob from Virginia we notice and comment on how low the baskets are here. They appear to be 1′ to 1.5′ lower to the ground than normal. It’s totally bizarre.

El Tye Die had mentioned that to ensure total victory Maryland would only have to make sure that we brought enough players down to the Prison to be within 27 of the total Virginia players throwing on Sunday. If we kept them from having no more than that many players than us, they could sweep all the placement positions and we could still win. I nod knowingly during his discourse feigning comprehension. Naturally the Maryland turn out was El Tie Dye, Sparky, me and two other discers. Virginia had 30 something. El Tie Dye starts doing calculations in his head and determines that we can still pull this out as long as one of us places i.e. gets all heroic on Virginia. The three of us have managed to be on the same card and Bud has courteously started us on #5 right next to the parking lot. We’re escorted/chaperoned/guarded by Virginian Evan. There’s OB everywhere. We warm up several practice drives trying to wiggle our way down the alley that is the fairway. There is limited success. The round begins. I go promptly OB. We move on to #6. I’m annoyed. I crank the Roadrunner. Virginians gasp. There’s a longest putt made contest on this hole.

YDGH throws down the gauntlet by hyzering this one in. As the day progresses players pass me and say:

Awesome putt Hawk.

Apparently it’s still standing…

We move on as all four of us get to enjoy some OB/thorn action.

Hole 8 is a death march across a creek to the backside of the course where the holes get longer and there are literally fields of thornbushes lining the fairway. Sparky opts to take the path less traveled to hole #8:

Sparky tees off on #8 also known as…I’m sure there’s a basket up there somewhere:

Evan follows Sparky, but fails to stay in bounds:

On hole #9 I make the first attempt at losing the Roadrunner as I turn it over into a wasteland of trees and thornbushes. El Tie Dye finds it for me. El Tie Dye tees off on #10:

On #14 things got really interesting. I tee off with the Roadrunner and hit an old building that is surrounded by a chain link fence. Tom “Ironman” Coffin of Virginia is up ahead on an adjacent hole as as my drive thuds into the side of the building. He helpfully calls out:

That’s OB!

So now I’m convinced I’m down to 3 discs. Evan points out a hole in the fence running along the right side of the fairway leading up to the building. He suggests I go through it to retrieve my disc. I do that. Sparky offers to lug my bag up the fairway. I don’t take the camera. This is a comedy mistake. Once I’ve crawled through the hole I’m in a thornbush woods. There is no going forward. The ground is only 2′ wide and then it drops downhill for 25′. That’s going to be the only way forward towards the building. I repel down to the valley floor. I start jogging in the direction of the fairway towards the building. There is another old farm/prison building down here. The only things missing at this point are barking hound dogs and Sidney Poitier. I get to the building to find out…that the building is totally surrounded by a fence! The chain link fence is about 12′ high on this side also. There are several downed trees leaning against the fence. I find someones blue Destroyer. I tomahawk it over everything to Ironman on the the fairway. I’m going to have to climb/walk up a tree trunk to the top of the fence. I do that and then realize I don’t really want to jump down 12′ to the ground. That’s when I go all Tom Cruise Mission Impossible and jump off the top of the fence grabbing an adjacent tree that is leaning past the fence into the buildings yard and swing/drop to the ground. El Tie Dye directs me to the Roadrunner on the other side of the building. I toss it over the fence. Now I have to get out. Fortunately the fence has some of those horizontal support poles on the inside and I use that to scamper up the 8′ part on the course side. My second shot from the fence is actually rather nice but I miss the putt…low. Missing low at the Prison is double shame.

We venture on. #15 sees Evan launch his Leopard into a thornbush field. He writes it off. Hole #16 is 900′+ long. My second drive lands in the clearing. I’ve got a look at the basket. I launch the Roadrunner and it’s a beautiful fast flat throw that roars past the basket and sails off into this:

Yes Sparky dug the camera out of my bag while El Tie Dye and I were looking for the Roadrunner. There was no finding it. We believe it is somewhere between the white trees and the road. It will never be found. As you can tell, Sparky was loving this:

I move on with three discs. El Tie Dye offers me a Sidewinder from his bag, but I thank him and decline. The NutSac credo says four discs are enough to start with. I’ll finish with the Leopard, Coyote and Aviar. Sparky is feeling confident now that I’ve lost 25% of my bag that he can avenge himself for his one stroke defeat at my hands the day before. He needs this putt to salvage a circle four on #18:

He misses. I make from the opposite side in a head wind for a three. El Tie Dye makes his 3 putt:

Did I mention that this course is built on the grounds of an abandoned prison?

El Tie Dye drives on hole #1:

Followed by Sparky:

Sparky saves a three on #1:

Evan gets his groove on teeing off on #2:

Yeah that’s a prison over there:

With one hole to go Sparky is giddy that he has tied things up with me. Personally I’m focused on trying to place and overcome the odds stacked against team Maryland in pulling this thing out against Virginia. Hole #4 has an elevated tee, you drive across a valley through a narrow opening onto the elevated green. Of course both sides are totally OB. Sparky drives, hits some early branches and falls into a wooden fenced in area of OB. I giggle. I drive the Leopard onto the green. Dagger Mr. Sherwood! Sparky retrieves his drive of shame:

Note the lowered head and white topped OB sticks. Back at tourney central El Tie Dye reviews the board and it appears that all three of us have placed in the Silver division ensuring total victory for Maryland:

Silver - 
Chadd O. VA 66 
Tom A. VA 70 
Hawk C. MD 72
Mark S. MD 74
Sharky MD 74
Rob G. VA 75
Evan U. VA 78
Ken W. VA 80

El Tie Dye and I dig into the BBQ, mac & cheese and beans provided by our Virginia hosts. We won the tourney but they won lunch. Sparky takes some m&c and beans and sprints to his car racing out of the prison parking lot. We don’t see him again. Then there are cookies and brownies. At one point during the meal I call El Tie Dye over.

Hawk: We just won this thing on their home course.

El Tie Dye: I know. It’s awesome. We had no one show up and still punked them.

Hawk: Exactly. There are like 35 of them and 4 of us left.

El Tie Dye: Yeah…

Hawk: We need to get out of here now!

My longest putt made held up. I make my prison escape. It was disappointing that so few fellow Marylanders made the trek down on Sunday to help defeat the Virginians. Apparently the Virginians feel the same way based on this post El Tie Dye shared with me from the Virginia message board:

ironmon wrote:

So… If k.Wallace, j weaver, p.smith and /or m.rice played silver and we had one more player at Giles we would have won?
And HAWK won the ice bowl for MD?!?!?!?!?!
Mother f’in A how will we ever live THAT down!!!!

More photos in the Yahoo! group.

Feel the charity,

YDGH

The reality of playing in next weekends Maryland vs. Virginia III and the 50 degree temp today finally got me out to throw a round. I was also demoing a Mako since Innova has apparently decided to retire the Coyote.

The Mako seemed nearly identical (shocking I know!) to a Coyote. This drive on #9 drew applause from some nearby discers:

The Swamp was living up to its name today. Often newer players will be confused when us veterans refer to the course by this nickname. Please see below:

Charity grudge match against those short course boys from Northern Virginia next weekend. One team and some food banks win.

I roll with El Tie Dye,

YDGH

The tourney season for 2011 is over. It’s cold. I haven’t been playing. So in the proud and stupid tradition of year end lists I decided to dig through all the photos I’ve stored in the Yahoo! group this year and blog up my favorite tourney pics from this past year. In no particular order…

#15 at Quakers Challenge…Boulder Bash

Buckethead gets a little too friendly with my ‘Sac at the Spring Equinox

Sparky’s drive on #10 at the Spring Equinox

Spring Equinox…my Vulcan drive (yellow) on #12 in the 2nd round

Duck Golf…Sparky, Dick & Trip

Whispering Falls…the whispering falls

Chet my intermediate nemesis for much of the season…missed this putt

Tim’s drive on #15 at Whispering Falls. This became a 9 in the most painful to watch moment of the season

#10 long tee…Loriella Challenge…yes that’s a pond at the bottom of the hill with the basket on the other side

The NutSac triple play at the Mid Atlantic Amateur Championship…YDGH, Randy & Sparky

I got a free bag and Dick paid $25 for his name on a piece of cardboard

Buckthead and his banana…note the look in the background

Shot of the year. MAAC. Hole #27. Long tee to B. Dick and I are about 220′ out after our drives. Dick approaches. He’s the pink disc on the ground. I throw the Coyote and greatness happened

Trip tees off on his way to a double circle 9 on #13…MAAC

Sparky beating us down with a DX Cobra

Trip goes back to back OB on his double circle 9

Note Sparky in background…

…and again

Dick signing players in at the NutSac Swamp Stomp

Dub Kim’s winning deuce putt from the fringe on #13 after a 4 hole play off with Erik Smith to win Open at the NutSac Swamp Stomp

Travis Freund wins Rec at the NutSac Swamp Stomp and is awarded his trophy bag from Dick

Best product placement of 2011 courtesy of Sparky

My drive on #13 at the Patapsco Picnic…Dean was very impressed

My drive on #15…Dean was even more impressed

The halftime show at the Patapsco Picnic…Badger and a really large owl

Creepy Dick moment from the Patapsco Punisher halftime show

Dick fueling up for the Pohick May Day tourney

Trip’s lost disc at Pohick

Rockburn Rumble…Dick forgot his hat…Jerman sells his hat to Dick for $25

Hole #3 at the Scarboro Scorcher

Dick tees off on #12 at Scarboro while behind him I’m pointing OB

Your Disc Golf Psychic proven right once again

Spang’s drive (gold) on #5 at Scarboro…we’ll never know how it got there

YDGH’s drive (red) on #16 at the Seneca Creek Soiree

Whispering Falls Harvest…best hole sponsor sign of the year…possibly ever

I moseyed out for a solo practice round yesterday. Dick couldn’t get rolling before noon so he got left behind. I was test driving my new double NutSac featuring the latest designer color:

The park was essentially empty…except for my old friends the deer. I was shooting the blue to grey layout. Some of the locals have sunk new pin positions on several holes for the grey baskets, so I had to play find the basket a couple of times. The new pins moved the baskets from open positions to more guarded positions.

After the back nine I’m putting out on #1 when three dudes (and their six discs total) teed off behind me. They were playing red to grey. These guys were moving. I finally encouraged them to play through. Here they are tail lighting me on #5:

I encouraged them to invest in one collective double NutSac to carry their six discs. They thought that was a cool idea. After my round I lunched at the Sedona Grille where I dined on the Red Rock enchilada:

 

 The Red Rock (or Redwood at Mi Casa) is one of my top 5 favorite dishes of all time. I followed that up with some Texas chili:

I pic messaged these to Dick which prompted him to immediately call me. Since I was eating I didn’t answer. I suspect he wished he had gotten up.

Another vacation day, another round of disc. Today I moseyed over to the big course and played red to grey. The park was a ghost town. There was only one other car in the parking lot. I had the whole course to myself…except for the deer:

Clearly he’s not impressed with my drive on #10. Unfortunately for this deer he missed my drive on #12 which impressed me:

This is one of those that makes you go:

Hmmm…how close was that really to being an ace?

3 deuces, 3 fours for an even 54.

As usual…more photos in the redesigned Yahoo! group.

YDGH

 

I’m off this week and it was 67 degrees here today so that meant a practice round. First I had to swing by DOF’s world HQ and pick up a couple of dyed discs from Brian. Naturally the front door to the shop is locked. The sign says ring the bell. I can see into the empty showroom. I ring the bell. Joel opens the door to the back office, and let’s me in.

Hawk: You guys looking at porn back there?

Joel: (glances around furtively) Uhhh…no!

I look around. The boys have got a ton of NutSac gear in:

So I get a few more Leopards (because I might lose the 27 others I have on a shelf) and a KC Aviar. Brian brings me out the dyed discs.

Hawk: Why are they wet?

Brian: (more furtive glances) Uhh…just cleaning them off for you.

Hawk: So they got dirty…

Brian: Don’t they look great!

Carrie had done a Texas Rangers disc for me freehand with some Sharpies. Brian dyed one. Can you tell which is which?

I head out to Rockburn to field test my newly installed water holster on the black NutSac.

I start throwing some plastic at metal. Walking from #2 to #3 I see a herd teeing off on #5. Don’t these people have jobs? It’s 2:30 p.m. on a Monday! I pivot and play #6. At #9 I play through a couple of guys who appear to be studying the bible. They have a cool large dog. My Coyote flies flawlessly down the hill into the creek. Finishing #14 I find this new feature on the course:

On #15 I observe a player hacking at the leaves on the ground across the creek. Clearly a lost disc. I tee off with the Coyote at the basket which is on the tee side of the creek. Naturally I clear the creek, which is something I can’t do when the basket is on the other side of the creek. I cross the creek to find the searching player is Byrd. I help him look. I find the disc standing on edge in the creek against the bank. He’s impressed I found it. We play #16 together. This was my drive:

Byrd was so impressed with that he skipped the last two holes.

Yes this was my lone deuce of the round,

YDGH