Tuesday evening:

I (and Dick and Trip) receive a text message from Jerman:

The results are in losers. I am your champion. Pay your daddy.

I knew this moment was coming. Much like when you’re in your doctor’s examination room suspecting you know what the test results will be, but hoping for a different outcome. I replied…

Hawk: Who is this?

Jerman: You wish you could forget!

Hawk: Well congratulations. You certainly deserved to win.

Jerman: Thanks man.

Hawk: Would you be willing to accept a post dated check?

Jerman: That is so Sparky!

We agree to meet up Saturday at Patapsco to throw a round. I’d present Jerman with the trophy bag (courtesy of Greg) and pay him the $100 I lost to him in the bet.

Allow me to digress momentarily and once again point out why the Association sucks. Their biggest marketing gimmick to get us suckers to join is to earn a rating. If you aren’t current, you aren’t supposed to have a rating. A couple of months ago Trip and I were on the phone moaning about losing the bet to Jer. I pointed out that we had one last gasp hope. I reminded George that according to the Association if Jerman didn’t renew in time for the January ratings update he’d have no rating and thus no claim to victory. Trip thought this was diabolical and would result in much controversy and drama. I immediately renewed after the first of the year. As you can see here, I am the only tool to have done so:

Name	PDGANum	Current	Class	State/Prov	Country 6	Event #	Rating

Jerry Jerman Kramer

32461

Am

MD

USA

8

936

Rich Myers

19614

Am

MD

USA

2

917

George Brown

11288

Am

MD

USA

17

911

Hawk Corrick

22013

Am

MD

USA

13

911

 

Hello! Why do these stiffs have ratings and they aren’t current?!?! It’s the end of January! Sigh… Let down by the Association yet again! Shocking I know.

I arrive at Patapsco 15 minutes before the 1100 round time with Jerman. The park is crawling with Boy Scouts. The staff at the gate inform me that it’s the Klondike Derby. I’ve never heard of this, but the course is closed. I u-turn and call Jer. We agree to change venue and meet at Druid. I arrive to find Jer practice putting. I present him with the trophy bag which he informs me will be used by Mrs. Kramer. He’s more interested in my $100 cash money. We agree to play a round from the wood (long) tees and include the 9 x-holes in the woods for a total of 27 holes.

Yeah I lost a year long bet to this…

We each deuce #1 to begin a promising round. Jerman deuces 5x following this awkward looking drive:

5x had some interesting arts and crafts going on…

Smokehenge…

Jerman wins the 9 x-holes 30-32. Back on the main course after the first 6 x holes YDGH promptly responds with this drive on #5:

Note Jerman walking away in disgust refusing to watch the deuce putt go in. On #7 Jerman follows this spectacular drive…

…with an approach gone bad resulting in a horrific downhill roll away and takes a five to my three. On the back nine we spend several holes going 3-4 or 4-3. At #18 Jerman has a one stroke lead and the tee. He proceeds to throw his drive into the tee sign for the metal (short) tee and the opportunity door swings open. His second throw (drive) on #18…

Meanwhile my drive is down the fairway. The long pin on 18 is a small island surrounded by OB asphalt. Figuring Jer is taking a five as his approach to the pin is further than my drive I attempt to bomb the Coyote onto the island for a dagger 3. The wind knocks me down, in bounds, but short of the island. It’s a four. Jer Flutie’s his third shot towards the pin and goes OB. However the island is so small the putt is almost a gimme. I win the regular Druid 18 59-61. We’re tied for the day. It’s play-off time. We got to #10 and throw from the metal tee. We both 3. On to #11. We both drive straight down the fairway. It looks like it’s going to be another 3 push. Here’s the master of the Jerry laying up…

I’m on the other side of the trees from Jerman. I also approach and my putter lands right under the basket, pings against the pole, gets on edge and begins to roll away. I end up with this putt to push the hole…

…which I clank off the left side chains giving Jerman the practice round win.

More photos in the Yahoo! group including Buckethead making a putt!

You drive for show, you approach for ratings,

YDGH

Friday after work I’m on the phone with Trip discussing Saturdays first part of this charity event.

Trip: I’ve got a blank chick calling.

Hawk: A what?

Trip: I’ll call you back.

Saturday: Seneca Creek (Maryland)

I’d spent the past week trying to rally the discers on the local Maryland message board to turn out and help El Tie Dye defeat Virginia in this two day food bank fund raiser. The temperature got into the low 60′s and turnout was good. I sign in with El Tie Dye who is his usual fashion disaster:

 

 The man does have good hair though! Starting our round of 27 on hole #20 I spy another fashionista waiting to start his day on #9:

I’m on an all Maryland card with Trip, Sparky and DJ. DJ makes his first putt of the day which bodes well for our team:

Sparky does DJ one better on #22 by making this called putt:

Trip had an impressive putt on this hole himself, but as part of a trend for the day I missed both of Trips good putts. More on this later! Sparky and I were modeling double ‘Sacs version 2.0 and 1.0:

Sparky and I discussed the true NutSac philosophy. I was carrying the standard 4 discs…two drivers (in case you lose one!) a mid and a putter. Sparky had 7 discs. I told him that was too many. Sparky sinks this putt as our card all deuce #23:

Sparky sporting his official NutSac cap and of course the obligatory fashion of the day:

Near the intersection of holes #25 and #8 there is a garden plot…with a hubcap in the center???

Earlier in the day:

Hawk: You’re rolling that? You never roll.

Trip: I roll all the time.

Hawk: No you don’t.

Trip: Watch me.

Trip tees off with a roller on #9:

 

There are two things to note here. He’s doing it just to spite me. He’s wearing his tee-shirt backwards. I eventually pointed this out to him.

DJ tee’s off on #9 and overdrives the basket!

My Roadrunner drive on #9:

Best ever…I threed it naturally, but still better than my standard four on a hole that haunts me. Now this was brilliant. Seneca is made up of three nine hole loops that bring you past the parking lot at the conclusion of each loop. El Tie Dye (and his counterpart Bud from Virginia) started serving lunch at 1130. So whenever your card passed through after 1130 you could grab your lunch. No crowd of 70 folk lined up. Our card rolled in. Ate some huge sausages and we’re back on the course in 15 minutes. It was like a NASCAR pit stop.

Hole #11 Trip announces he’s going to roll across the wooden bridge. You can just make out his red disc…to the right of the bridge heading for the gully.

This was the first of several holes where I turned a great drive into a mediocre or downright disappointing score. As we walk towards the bridge I notice a guy in the group behind us. I don’t know if they are in the tourney or just out for a casual round, but one of them is in the cult. Here’s Rick and his NutSac:

The Roadrunner is my friend again on #12:

Sparky tees off on #13:

YDGH tees off on #13:

Another best drive ever that turned into an unsatisfactory 5.

Trip begins another double circle journey on #13:

Seneca’s version of a whispering fall:

I hate #15. You may recall during last years MAAC tourney I took 5 after 5 after 5 after 5 on this hole. My drive was horrific. I bombed in a third shot within 15′ to save a 4. I considered this a win. Meanwhile DJ parks the basket and deuces this mother:

This is Tripwire reverting into full Suicide Bomber mode as he five putts (you read that right) on his way to a 7 on #15.

Note the tee shirt is correct now. My drive on #18 with my new friend the Roadrunner. 

The round is complete. Sparky rolls out for his dinner date at the Bangkok Garden. Feel free to insert your own joke here. So day one ends with Maryland way out in front of Virginia due to turnout. The field is broken down into three divisions (Gold, Silver and Bronze) in this ratings based tourney. Sparky, El Tie Dye and me are playing Silver.

Silver
Tom Edwards MD 90 
Larry Pearce MD 90 
Mark Stiles MD 90
Hawk Corrick MD 92
Mark Sherwood MD 93 
DJ Anderson MD 94 
Jimmy Baker MD 94 
Rick Honn MD 94
John Buck MD 96
Steve Ritenour MD 96
Andrew Francis MD 98
Steve Simpson MD 98
Tom Transtrum MD 98
Justin Duncan MD 100
George Brown MD 101
Colin C. VA 101
Jens Svenson MD 103
Evan Uhl VA 105
Ken Winkleman VA 105
John Merhi MD 109
Kai Svenson MD 225

We finished lumped together near the top. Sparky is demoralized by finishing behind me. Trip didn’t fair as well on the day. There’s an incredibly complicated points system here. Basically everyone earns their team 1 point for playing. There are some placement points for finishing in the top of a division. Extra points for being really young or really old or really female

Sunday: Giles Run (Virginia)

The course is offically knows as Giles Run Meadow at Laurel Hill Park. There are two important things to know about Giles Run:

1: There are thorn bushes everywhere. It is the thorniest course I’ve ever played. Not only are the thorns disc eaters, but they are all played as Out of Bounds. The unofficial course motto is: You’ll lose two discs a round, but find two others!

2: The fancy course name can’t hide the fact that the course is built on the grounds of the old Lorton prison!

I sign in with Bud:

As mentioned above, a lot of discs get lost at this course:

Seeing as how I’m only sporting a Roadrunner, a Leopard, a Coyote and a KC Aviar I’m thinking that I may be finishing these 18 holes with an empty bag and a putter. I had considered loading up Sparky style, but decided that would be the gutless route to go.

Warming up pre-players meeting with El Tie Dye and Bob from Virginia we notice and comment on how low the baskets are here. They appear to be 1′ to 1.5′ lower to the ground than normal. It’s totally bizarre.

El Tye Die had mentioned that to ensure total victory Maryland would only have to make sure that we brought enough players down to the Prison to be within 27 of the total Virginia players throwing on Sunday. If we kept them from having no more than that many players than us, they could sweep all the placement positions and we could still win. I nod knowingly during his discourse feigning comprehension. Naturally the Maryland turn out was El Tie Dye, Sparky, me and two other discers. Virginia had 30 something. El Tie Dye starts doing calculations in his head and determines that we can still pull this out as long as one of us places i.e. gets all heroic on Virginia. The three of us have managed to be on the same card and Bud has courteously started us on #5 right next to the parking lot. We’re escorted/chaperoned/guarded by Virginian Evan. There’s OB everywhere. We warm up several practice drives trying to wiggle our way down the alley that is the fairway. There is limited success. The round begins. I go promptly OB. We move on to #6. I’m annoyed. I crank the Roadrunner. Virginians gasp. There’s a longest putt made contest on this hole.

YDGH throws down the gauntlet by hyzering this one in. As the day progresses players pass me and say:

Awesome putt Hawk.

Apparently it’s still standing…

We move on as all four of us get to enjoy some OB/thorn action.

Hole 8 is a death march across a creek to the backside of the course where the holes get longer and there are literally fields of thornbushes lining the fairway. Sparky opts to take the path less traveled to hole #8:

Sparky tees off on #8 also known as…I’m sure there’s a basket up there somewhere:

Evan follows Sparky, but fails to stay in bounds:

On hole #9 I make the first attempt at losing the Roadrunner as I turn it over into a wasteland of trees and thornbushes. El Tie Dye finds it for me. El Tie Dye tees off on #10:

On #14 things got really interesting. I tee off with the Roadrunner and hit an old building that is surrounded by a chain link fence. Tom “Ironman” Coffin of Virginia is up ahead on an adjacent hole as as my drive thuds into the side of the building. He helpfully calls out:

That’s OB!

So now I’m convinced I’m down to 3 discs. Evan points out a hole in the fence running along the right side of the fairway leading up to the building. He suggests I go through it to retrieve my disc. I do that. Sparky offers to lug my bag up the fairway. I don’t take the camera. This is a comedy mistake. Once I’ve crawled through the hole I’m in a thornbush woods. There is no going forward. The ground is only 2′ wide and then it drops downhill for 25′. That’s going to be the only way forward towards the building. I repel down to the valley floor. I start jogging in the direction of the fairway towards the building. There is another old farm/prison building down here. The only things missing at this point are barking hound dogs and Sidney Poitier. I get to the building to find out…that the building is totally surrounded by a fence! The chain link fence is about 12′ high on this side also. There are several downed trees leaning against the fence. I find someones blue Destroyer. I tomahawk it over everything to Ironman on the the fairway. I’m going to have to climb/walk up a tree trunk to the top of the fence. I do that and then realize I don’t really want to jump down 12′ to the ground. That’s when I go all Tom Cruise Mission Impossible and jump off the top of the fence grabbing an adjacent tree that is leaning past the fence into the buildings yard and swing/drop to the ground. El Tie Dye directs me to the Roadrunner on the other side of the building. I toss it over the fence. Now I have to get out. Fortunately the fence has some of those horizontal support poles on the inside and I use that to scamper up the 8′ part on the course side. My second shot from the fence is actually rather nice but I miss the putt…low. Missing low at the Prison is double shame.

We venture on. #15 sees Evan launch his Leopard into a thornbush field. He writes it off. Hole #16 is 900′+ long. My second drive lands in the clearing. I’ve got a look at the basket. I launch the Roadrunner and it’s a beautiful fast flat throw that roars past the basket and sails off into this:

Yes Sparky dug the camera out of my bag while El Tie Dye and I were looking for the Roadrunner. There was no finding it. We believe it is somewhere between the white trees and the road. It will never be found. As you can tell, Sparky was loving this:

I move on with three discs. El Tie Dye offers me a Sidewinder from his bag, but I thank him and decline. The NutSac credo says four discs are enough to start with. I’ll finish with the Leopard, Coyote and Aviar. Sparky is feeling confident now that I’ve lost 25% of my bag that he can avenge himself for his one stroke defeat at my hands the day before. He needs this putt to salvage a circle four on #18:

He misses. I make from the opposite side in a head wind for a three. El Tie Dye makes his 3 putt:

Did I mention that this course is built on the grounds of an abandoned prison?

El Tie Dye drives on hole #1:

Followed by Sparky:

Sparky saves a three on #1:

Evan gets his groove on teeing off on #2:

Yeah that’s a prison over there:

With one hole to go Sparky is giddy that he has tied things up with me. Personally I’m focused on trying to place and overcome the odds stacked against team Maryland in pulling this thing out against Virginia. Hole #4 has an elevated tee, you drive across a valley through a narrow opening onto the elevated green. Of course both sides are totally OB. Sparky drives, hits some early branches and falls into a wooden fenced in area of OB. I giggle. I drive the Leopard onto the green. Dagger Mr. Sherwood! Sparky retrieves his drive of shame:

Note the lowered head and white topped OB sticks. Back at tourney central El Tie Dye reviews the board and it appears that all three of us have placed in the Silver division ensuring total victory for Maryland:

Silver - 
Chadd O. VA 66 
Tom A. VA 70 
Hawk C. MD 72
Mark S. MD 74
Sharky MD 74
Rob G. VA 75
Evan U. VA 78
Ken W. VA 80

El Tie Dye and I dig into the BBQ, mac & cheese and beans provided by our Virginia hosts. We won the tourney but they won lunch. Sparky takes some m&c and beans and sprints to his car racing out of the prison parking lot. We don’t see him again. Then there are cookies and brownies. At one point during the meal I call El Tie Dye over.

Hawk: We just won this thing on their home course.

El Tie Dye: I know. It’s awesome. We had no one show up and still punked them.

Hawk: Exactly. There are like 35 of them and 4 of us left.

El Tie Dye: Yeah…

Hawk: We need to get out of here now!

My longest putt made held up. I make my prison escape. It was disappointing that so few fellow Marylanders made the trek down on Sunday to help defeat the Virginians. Apparently the Virginians feel the same way based on this post El Tie Dye shared with me from the Virginia message board:

ironmon wrote:

So… If k.Wallace, j weaver, p.smith and /or m.rice played silver and we had one more player at Giles we would have won?
And HAWK won the ice bowl for MD?!?!?!?!?!
Mother f’in A how will we ever live THAT down!!!!

More photos in the Yahoo! group.

Feel the charity,

YDGH

The reality of playing in next weekends Maryland vs. Virginia III and the 50 degree temp today finally got me out to throw a round. I was also demoing a Mako since Innova has apparently decided to retire the Coyote.

The Mako seemed nearly identical (shocking I know!) to a Coyote. This drive on #9 drew applause from some nearby discers:

The Swamp was living up to its name today. Often newer players will be confused when us veterans refer to the course by this nickname. Please see below:

Charity grudge match against those short course boys from Northern Virginia next weekend. One team and some food banks win.

I roll with El Tie Dye,

YDGH

The tourney season for 2011 is over. It’s cold. I haven’t been playing. So in the proud and stupid tradition of year end lists I decided to dig through all the photos I’ve stored in the Yahoo! group this year and blog up my favorite tourney pics from this past year. In no particular order…

#15 at Quakers Challenge…Boulder Bash

Buckethead gets a little too friendly with my ‘Sac at the Spring Equinox

Sparky’s drive on #10 at the Spring Equinox

Spring Equinox…my Vulcan drive (yellow) on #12 in the 2nd round

Duck Golf…Sparky, Dick & Trip

Whispering Falls…the whispering falls

Chet my intermediate nemesis for much of the season…missed this putt

Tim’s drive on #15 at Whispering Falls. This became a 9 in the most painful to watch moment of the season

#10 long tee…Loriella Challenge…yes that’s a pond at the bottom of the hill with the basket on the other side

The NutSac triple play at the Mid Atlantic Amateur Championship…YDGH, Randy & Sparky

I got a free bag and Dick paid $25 for his name on a piece of cardboard

Buckthead and his banana…note the look in the background

Shot of the year. MAAC. Hole #27. Long tee to B. Dick and I are about 220′ out after our drives. Dick approaches. He’s the pink disc on the ground. I throw the Coyote and greatness happened

Trip tees off on his way to a double circle 9 on #13…MAAC

Sparky beating us down with a DX Cobra

Trip goes back to back OB on his double circle 9

Note Sparky in background…

…and again

Dick signing players in at the NutSac Swamp Stomp

Dub Kim’s winning deuce putt from the fringe on #13 after a 4 hole play off with Erik Smith to win Open at the NutSac Swamp Stomp

Travis Freund wins Rec at the NutSac Swamp Stomp and is awarded his trophy bag from Dick

Best product placement of 2011 courtesy of Sparky

My drive on #13 at the Patapsco Picnic…Dean was very impressed

My drive on #15…Dean was even more impressed

The halftime show at the Patapsco Picnic…Badger and a really large owl

Creepy Dick moment from the Patapsco Punisher halftime show

Dick fueling up for the Pohick May Day tourney

Trip’s lost disc at Pohick

Rockburn Rumble…Dick forgot his hat…Jerman sells his hat to Dick for $25

Hole #3 at the Scarboro Scorcher

Dick tees off on #12 at Scarboro while behind him I’m pointing OB

Your Disc Golf Psychic proven right once again

Spang’s drive (gold) on #5 at Scarboro…we’ll never know how it got there

YDGH’s drive (red) on #16 at the Seneca Creek Soiree

Whispering Falls Harvest…best hole sponsor sign of the year…possibly ever

I moseyed out for a solo practice round yesterday. Dick couldn’t get rolling before noon so he got left behind. I was test driving my new double NutSac featuring the latest designer color:

The park was essentially empty…except for my old friends the deer. I was shooting the blue to grey layout. Some of the locals have sunk new pin positions on several holes for the grey baskets, so I had to play find the basket a couple of times. The new pins moved the baskets from open positions to more guarded positions.

After the back nine I’m putting out on #1 when three dudes (and their six discs total) teed off behind me. They were playing red to grey. These guys were moving. I finally encouraged them to play through. Here they are tail lighting me on #5:

I encouraged them to invest in one collective double NutSac to carry their six discs. They thought that was a cool idea. After my round I lunched at the Sedona Grille where I dined on the Red Rock enchilada:

 

 The Red Rock (or Redwood at Mi Casa) is one of my top 5 favorite dishes of all time. I followed that up with some Texas chili:

I pic messaged these to Dick which prompted him to immediately call me. Since I was eating I didn’t answer. I suspect he wished he had gotten up.

Another vacation day, another round of disc. Today I moseyed over to the big course and played red to grey. The park was a ghost town. There was only one other car in the parking lot. I had the whole course to myself…except for the deer:

Clearly he’s not impressed with my drive on #10. Unfortunately for this deer he missed my drive on #12 which impressed me:

This is one of those that makes you go:

Hmmm…how close was that really to being an ace?

3 deuces, 3 fours for an even 54.

As usual…more photos in the redesigned Yahoo! group.

YDGH

 

I’m off this week and it was 67 degrees here today so that meant a practice round. First I had to swing by DOF’s world HQ and pick up a couple of dyed discs from Brian. Naturally the front door to the shop is locked. The sign says ring the bell. I can see into the empty showroom. I ring the bell. Joel opens the door to the back office, and let’s me in.

Hawk: You guys looking at porn back there?

Joel: (glances around furtively) Uhhh…no!

I look around. The boys have got a ton of NutSac gear in:

So I get a few more Leopards (because I might lose the 27 others I have on a shelf) and a KC Aviar. Brian brings me out the dyed discs.

Hawk: Why are they wet?

Brian: (more furtive glances) Uhh…just cleaning them off for you.

Hawk: So they got dirty…

Brian: Don’t they look great!

Carrie had done a Texas Rangers disc for me freehand with some Sharpies. Brian dyed one. Can you tell which is which?

I head out to Rockburn to field test my newly installed water holster on the black NutSac.

I start throwing some plastic at metal. Walking from #2 to #3 I see a herd teeing off on #5. Don’t these people have jobs? It’s 2:30 p.m. on a Monday! I pivot and play #6. At #9 I play through a couple of guys who appear to be studying the bible. They have a cool large dog. My Coyote flies flawlessly down the hill into the creek. Finishing #14 I find this new feature on the course:

On #15 I observe a player hacking at the leaves on the ground across the creek. Clearly a lost disc. I tee off with the Coyote at the basket which is on the tee side of the creek. Naturally I clear the creek, which is something I can’t do when the basket is on the other side of the creek. I cross the creek to find the searching player is Byrd. I help him look. I find the disc standing on edge in the creek against the bank. He’s impressed I found it. We play #16 together. This was my drive:

Byrd was so impressed with that he skipped the last two holes.

Yes this was my lone deuce of the round,

YDGH

So the DFL Tour headed over to Hagerstown yesterday to play an 18 hole temporary basket layout set up on a 9 hole public golf course. This drive took me about 70 minutes. It should have taken me 60 minutes but I drove right past the course and ended up in some massive recreational park complex where all the soccer moms unloading their kids were eyeballing me as a potential predator as I slowly cruised the parking lot looking for the golf course. Finally deciding to back track my path I get to the intersection (look for the Burger King!), glance to my left and see 30 discers practice putting. Being a trained investigator I quickly realize I have found the course.

Better directions: It’s across the street from the Taco Bell. I run into Coach who has actually played the normal 9 basket temporary course before. We hook up with JDot and warm up a few holes. I remark that I may cross route 40 at the break and buy some new footwear at Super Shoes. This golf course is the first one I’ve ever seen that has multiple dining and shopping options within midrange distance!

TD Brad calls us in and gives us the players meeting talk:

Don’t do anything during the tournament you wouldn’t do in front of your mother.

Several of us agree that leaves conduct open to a very wide interpretation looking at the crowd of participating discers. In round one I’m carded with Coach, Eric and Owen. Several groups take golf carts out to their starting holes. We decide that’s silly and walk. Arriving out our starting hole (#5) we realize we likely have the longest walk back at the end of the round. Hmmm…

We tee off. I make a 40′ putt for an opening deuce. Dub and his card break into polite applause. We proceed to hole #6. My drive lands 15′ away from the basket. I’ve never opened a tourney deuce-deuce. I miss the putt. I just don’t miss the putt I airputt it a good foot and a half to the right. Coach:

Come on now!

Sigh…

The course is cleverly laid out around the nine golf holes. Bunkers and greens are OB. It would have been nice if the flags had been left on the greens as it was hard to see the greens from the tees on several holes. We get to hole #8 which is a 200′er across a small dip. Everyone goes putter. I’m not liking my chances of driving a putter accurately that far so I go with the Coyote. Coach parks it with his Wizard:

I miss a 20′er and take a 3. We get to hole #15.  It’s 280′ uphill. OB creek short, OB green to the left of the basket. Owen steps up and tomahawks a drive over a 70′ high tree line running along the creek that lands 10′ behind the basket. Coach and I exchange looks of awe. Warming up I parked #17 for a drop in decue. Arriving at #17 I know I’m jinxed. However my drive is even better as it lands under the basket for a deuce. I grab another deuce on #2 when I Leopard past Coach’s Wraith. He is appropriately humiliated. We finish on #4 which is 890′ long, into a headwind, with a OB cart path to the right. My second drive goes OB. I take a six.

It’s lunchtime. Mama Lescalleet has made chicken noodle soup and brownies!

Mama: Would you like some soup?

Hawk: Absolutely if you made it!

M: Oh I did.

H: It looks great.

M: What’s your name?

H: Hawk

M: Oh you’re the pornographer.

H: Excuse me?

M: Are you having fun playing?

H: It’s very cool. It’s diabolically laid out where many of the shots are tweeners either between a putter and a midrange or between a midrange and a driver. Very challenging.

M: My boy Brad is tied for the lead.

H: Impressive and curious. Didn’t he design the layout?

M: More soup?

Notice how Cooker shamelessly works his way into the photo. I head off to dine in a golf cart:

After eating I run into JDot. He has managed to shoot the same mediocre 60 that I did. He’s on my card in the second round. We’re in a 3 way tie for DFL with someone named Rick. The odds of me hanging with Jay another round are miniscule. I’m going to have to separate from Rick. We’re starting on #6 where I coupled my perfect drive with an airputt in round 1. Good times! I get to the hole to find Jay already there. He’s found a golf ball. We begin to try and roll the golf ball down the cart path towards the creek to see who can get it the farthest. Jay sets up markers representing 1st, 2nd and 3rd bases. We’ve created baseball. We spend 10 minutes playing baseball. Other discers pass us and glance at us strangely. Rick arrives. Banter ensues. Time to rumble.

I once again park #6:

This time I make the putt. I don’t soil myself. Jay also deuces to rain on my parade:

Jay attempts to take a pic of me teeing off on #7:

On #8 Jay drives with a putter like everyone else except for me:

I again miss a 20′er. Jay begins to tail light Rick and me as expected.

We discuss the soup at lunch. Jay is also very impressed.

Jay: I know you don’t do Ice Bowls but she makes…

Hawk: …chili with mashed potatoes…

Jay & Hawk: It’s fantastic!

Hawk: I may have to go there in January…

If I’m going to avoid DFL I’m going to have to claw myself away from Rick. Things are very even, but I do get a little cushion going. Arriving at #2 I’ve got Rick by 2 shots. His drive goes right. He has an open approach of about 80′. Something goes horribly awry and he lands 30′ short of the basket. His heroic try for the 3 misses:

I’ve got a 3 stroke cushion with 3 to play! On #3 something goes horribly awry and I eat a four. Down to 2 with 2 to play. It’s the big 890′er. We drive. We drive again. This looks totally fourable. I just need to avoid the OB green on the left and not turn the disc over OB on the right.

Jay: Just skip it off the bubble at the end of the cart path.

Hawk: No problem.

I land on the bubble and the disc barely slides back in bounds. I have a 20′er for the 4. I take a five. I’ve got Rick by 1 with one hole to go. This is the hole I deuced to open my day. I’m terrified of going OB left. I yank my drive right into #4′s fairway.

Jay: That might catch the ball net.

Fortunately Rick’s drive isn’t parked. We both approach (though I from twice the distance) and we make 10′ putts. I exhale. Not DFL baby!

Tourney results are here: http://www.pdga.com/tournament_results/76145

More photos in the Yahoo! group.

Not DFL yet,

YDGH

 

 

I had tasked Dick with rallying the Maryland troops on his message board in his capacity as State Association Tool for this non sanctioned tourney which is my personal favorite event. Approaching this task with his usual level of lethargy; I was forced to get involved two Fridays ago to deliver an inspirational post to the discers.

Friday Dick calls me at work in a tizzy. The weather forecast for Saturday was for an out of season snow storm to hit Pennsylvania and Maryland with the possibility of 5 to 10 inches by the end of the day. Dick was seeking counsel on if we should postpone the event, reduce it to one round of 27 holes vs. the traditional format of two rounds of 54, or just ball up into the fetal position and suck our thumbs. I suggested he work it out with tourney TD JDot as I was working.

Before leaving work on Friday I check my emails and I have several from JDot covering the same topic. I call him back from the car:

JDot: Hello?

Hawk: What are you wearing right now?

J: Thanks for calling.

(a lengthy discussion follows involving disc matters that I won’t bore you with…Jay eventually decides to go with one round of 27 as it’s too late to move the date..I predict the South will deliver 30 players down from the 50 we would have had with better weather)

J: So anyways I have a gig tonight. I’ll save you a table if you want to come by and check out our group.

H: What’s on the play list?

J: We do a lot of covers. We’ll do several Gin Blossoms songs.

H: I’m hanging up now.

I’m running some errands at the mall an hour later when my phone rings and it’s Tripwire. He proceeds to boast about his recent successful play at some Association event where he shot a 975 round. We discuss his social life, and the fact that he’s chauffering JerryA up to North vs. South the next morning. We hang up.

Saturday morning I head out the door and immediately get smacked on the brim of my NutSac cap with a heavy wet snow flake. Hmmmm… Driving up to Hanover my cell rings. It’s Dick:

Dick: My idiot alert is going off.

Hawk: Isn’t that every day of your life?

D: Dude have you seen the forecast?! They are calling for 6 to 10 inches up in Hanover!

H: No one said war would ever be easy soldier.

D: The only reason I’m going is I told Jay I would help run the thing. I may not even play.

H: That would be a rather gutless move since you recruited discers to play for about a month now.

D: Yeah whatever.

More bantering ensues. We hang up.

I stop and buy a pumpkin pie at a small local grocery store. They don’t seem to have Hank’s root beer from Philadelphia in stock. I inquire about this with the cashier. I receive a blank stare in return from him. I think to myself that I hope he has no plans of breeding.

Back in the car the phone rings again. It’s Dick wanting to know if I’ve spun off the road and need assistance. He’s already at the park, and he’s surprised and dissapointed that there are several cars already in the parking lot. The battle will take place.

I arrive and sign in. We’re meeting in the rotunda which is Codorus’s event hall. Around the walls just below the roof is a collection of stuffed animals and fish:

Hmmm…

The scoreport is filling up and JDot is concerned. We Southerners have outnumbered the local Northerners by 2-1. For awhile the registration looks like the North may have difficulty fielding the required 12 participants. I snicker as our final tally approaches 27 discers. Stiles arrives for the South in his standard uniform:

The North manages to post 13 players so the event is on. Jay huddles with Dick and me to figure out what format to play. We conclude that we should cut the event in half, and just play 27 holes. The original blue course (it’s in the woods and thus out of the wind) and the 9 x-holes. Jay conducts the players meeting:

Trip manages to get into every photo somehow. We take a group photo and head out to our holes. I’m on the celebrity card starting on #1 blue with JDot, Joel from Disc Outfitters, and General Joe the defending champion. It’s 3 Southerners vs. Jay. I was top of the card. Naturally I forgot the scorecard. Just as I’m about to dash back to the rotunda, Jay produces the card and hands it to me. Yankee mind games even before we tee off! Joe is tooling around the antithesis of the NutSac:

We shake hands and tee off. I miss my putt for a deuce on #1. So does Joe and Jay. Joel on the other hand takes his CTP drive and puts the first dagger of the day into the North by sinking his deuce putt:

From there things go from interesting conditions to simply miserable. It’s windy on the field holes. Everything is wet after about three holes.  The heavy wet snow continues to fall. The ground is covered so the guys who want to roll can’t. On the plus side you can bomb your putts in because if you miss the putter is staying right where it landed. On #5 Joe’s umbrella explodes in the wind. On #7 I take my first bad four by missing a 12′ putt low. Joel verbally encourages me. By hole #10 all of us are walking around in shoes loaded with water. Our toes are cold. I can barely feel mine. We are all having trouble gripping our discs. Not just because the discs are wet, but our fingers are numb and we have no feeling and can’t close them around the rim. On hole 3x Joe executes a drive where his disc lands on the only dry part of the entire hole!

I guess that’s why he’s a general. On 4x a threesome catches up with us. One of their players has quit playing. He says he was concerned for his safety. Joel has already faceplanted on one drive. We’ve all slipped and nearly fallen. The four of us look at this slacker with open disdain and let the other two brave discers play through. JDot revels in the fact that the quitter is from the South. I look away in shame. On 7x the wet snow is so heavy that the limbs of the trees are hanging down like curtains around the tee. You’ve heard of tunnel holes before, this is a tunnel tee…

Joe tees off on 7x:

Joel teeing of on 7x:

We press on. Joel and I discuss whether or not are toes are getting frost bitten in these conditions. Not feeling our toes has us worried. I can’t feel or move the middle finger on my right hand. I switch to driving with the Coyote vs. the Leopard since I can grip the midrange better than the driver. The four of us stagger out of the x-holes and head back to the blue course to play the final six holes I miss another deuce try on #13. The baskets are coated with ice at this point. We’ve been hearing limbs cracking and breaking off and falling due to the weight of the snow. On #16 there is a loud crack and I run for cover as a large limb crashes down on our right. We look at each other and wonder if we’ll die in this battle. We finish up on #18 where I manage to make a 25′er to save my three. It’s 1:20 p.m. It took four hours to slog through the snow and cold to play 27 relatively short holes. Back in the car I want to get my shoes and socks off to dry my feet and eat lunch. I can’t untie my shoes. I pull them off. After 15 minutes I have feeling back in my toes. I eat. I check my phone and have text messages from Dick:

“We agreed to a truce.”

“In the car”

“This is insane.”

So Dick went the cowards route and quit at 12:03 p.m! Nearly 90 minutes before our card finished the round!! I’m totally disgusted by this act of cowardice on his part. I see Trip brushing snow off his vehicle. I text him about Dick’s gutless shame. He pulls out of the park in the classic Nomads roll out. I suspect he shot poorly. I return to the rotunda to find out that I just missed last ca$h, at 102,  in what is the equivalent of an Open division by finishing just above the mid point of the entire field. Trip appears to have come in last at 116 among the brave souls who actually completed the round. Apparently there were six total quitters who couldn’t man up and finish the round. The South easily defeated the North and Joe defended his title and earned his second star as a general:

Note the shameless and gutless dry Dick worming his way into the photo.

Next up is an Association event next Saturday in Hagerstown.

More photos are in the Yahoo! group.

NutSacers never quit,

YDGH

 

 

Like you were expecting any shocking developments at this point?

Average 2011 Round Rating:

933…Jerman (19 rounds)

912…Dick (28 rounds)

907…Hawk (36 rounds)

905…Tripwire (39 rounds)

Best round of the year still belongs to Jerman clocking in with his 984.

The trophy bag arrived and has been tricked up. Just waiting till January at this point…

Coming up this Saturday is my favorite tourney of the year. North vs. South at Codorus in PA. Everyone is in one division. Essentially it’s Pennsylvania and Delaware vs. Maryland and Virginia. You don’t have to win. You just have to claw ahead of enough of them to help your side. We (the South) won in ’09 and ’07. They won in ’06, ’08 and ’10. Clearly we’re due. I’ve had Dick try to rally the troops on his message bored:

 http://www.md-discgolf.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=3496

He’s had limited success. 

The Saturday after there is an Association event in Hagerstown on an actual golf course. They apparently have nine permanent holes and are bringing in 9 temporary baskets to lure the DFL Tour into stopping by.

Can you say Caddyshack,

YDGH