I was on vacation this week and the weather finally got above 65 degrees. That meant a few rounds of disc and a chance to demo an Ibex and a Lace.
Tuesday: I had a choice of The Swamp or Patapsco for some doubles action. I figured I’d go with the Swamp since it’s hosted by Cult Member Sparky and I could scope out Maryland for some gym t-shirts.
I got my hands on an Ibex from Scorpio and figured with The Swamp being set up short with mostly A pins, and us going from the red tees, I’d have plenty of chances to try it out.
I’m stupid early. Kick-off is 5:30 p.m. and it’s not even 4 yet. I figure I’ll roll a practice round ahead of the actual doubles. The Ibex:
A little beefier than the Ridge, but about the same diameter. I like that since I’ve always preferred my mid to be the same size as my drivers and putters. For years I carried Spiders for that reason. While navigating my way around the course I find this past #3′s basket:
I found this to be ironic in light of Vibram’s boasts about the durability of their discs vs. plastic. I’m done futzing around and the Ibex seems to not suck. Back in the Civic I check the temp to confirm what seems to be a hot day to test the rubber for meltdown floppiness:
Look into Carol’s eyes. Breathe deeply. Deeply…now bark like a dog. Since I still have some time to kill I begin to peruse the news…
…really!?!? I get out of the car and warm up some putts with Sparky. He wants to engage me in a putting game similar to Horse. He loans me one of his Yeti Pro Aviars so we each have two putters. Sparky takes an early lead in the race to nine. I win 10-6. Sparky slinks back to his ride to fondle the minis in his Felix the Cat bag o’ tricks:
I thought the first really hot day would bring out a huge crowd, but it’s a less than expected turnout in my mind. Sparky asks if I’d like to draw the minis, but I am leery about putting my hand in his bag. He recruits Fred to do the draw:
Note the position of the bag. Note the expression on Sparky’s face. Note the intense eye contact between Fred and Sparky. Note Neil in the background with a look of horror(?) disgust (?) embarrassment (?) and a slow exit stage left. The minis hit the dirt…
…and I’m in the first group. So no Cali/Schitzo/extra throws for me, so I put the Sidewinder back in the back-up ‘Sac and decide to go with just the Trak, Ibex and Ridge. I’m partnered with George. We introduce ourselves:
Hawk: Can you putt?
George: Not really.
Hawk: Nor can I.
George: I’m 50-50.
Hawk: I’ll bomb away and you make the putts.
George: Did I mention I’m 50-50?
Hawk: I appreciate your honesty.
Opposing us on the card is Swamp legend and local SilverWolf and his partner Larry. As Larry steps onto the tee to start us off I notice that…
…Larry is not wearing any shoes! Larry explains to me that his feet have been bothering him, and wearing shoes has been miserable so he’s excited to be able to go barefoot. Larry gets us going:
Followed by SilverWolf:
Who has “bulked up” since I last saw him! George gets our card going…
His drive is decent. I announce that this will be my first competitive throw with the Ibex:
Disc Golf Hero… I turn to George to give him the honor so I can snap his pic:
The historic moment and pressure of playing with YDGH overwhelms George and he misses the putt. I step in and clean up our deuce.
Hawk: That’s okay babe. Just forget about it.
George: It was the camera. The camera made me nervous.
Hawk: Not as nervous as me rabbit punching you if you miss another 10′er.
George: Excellent point.
I park #2 with the Ridge:
George makes the putt with minimal flinching. Then things got stupid. I tee off with the Ibex on #3 and turn it way over right. It actually hits the ground as a roller and is 30′ to the right of the basket heading up the hill 25′ behind the basket. It turns and…
Yes it’s total garbage, but it’s -3 after three for George and me. SilverWolf had a more conventional route with his putter and converts their first deuce…
…with his weird basketball shot flip putt thing. I’m sure it has a name. We screw up #4:
Hawk: Okay we are going to have to ace something because I’m thinking -18 might be the number tonight.
George: Not a problem.
On #5 I drive the Ibex here…
…and we pick up another deuce. Hole #7…the Trak…
…we deuce again. SilverWolf makes this putt on #8 for his team:
We also deuce #8 off this Ibex drive:
As we are ready to tee off on #9 I spy another card watching the Schitzo player tee off on #5:
Unbeknownst to us this is the hot card. It turns out this is where all the scoring is happening. Larry tees off on #9:
Note the bare feet. For the purposes of full disclosure he was wearing flip-flops between shots. Larry converts his drive for a deuce for his team:
He faked me out with a pump-action, so I missed the disc in the air. Oh by the way…note the Ridge to the right of the basket. Here’s another shot of how close it was:
George and I are -7 after the front nine. We should have been -8 but we both botched a 12′er on #6. I start to think we might have a shot at this thing. Ridge…#10…deuce:
We get to #11 and we all comment on how the holly tree near the A pin has been…”trimmed.” It looks like the County came out and cut off the branches on the bottom 10′ of the tree. The branches above that are intact.
Larry: It kind of looks like someone trimmed it to make it look bigger.
Hawk: Like certain body hair regions?
George: Check please!
Then our ride got a little bumpy. George tees off and misses the mando on the left side of the fairway. From the red tee this is disc shame of biblical proportion. I step up with the Ibex and slam it into the mando tree which might be even more shameful since as the second thrower I should ensure we are safe.
SilverWolf: I’ve made a two from there.
SilverWolf: I’m just saying that I have.
We get to my lie and it’s an impossible hyzer bomb needing a 160 degree or so comeback.
George: It may require a flick.
Hawk: How’s your flick?
George: Not very good.
Hawk: Mine is also not instructional video worthy. I’ll go first just to put all the pressure on you.
I attempt to flick the Ibex and it’s a total debacle. Hello four. Goodbye dreams of winning. George steps up:
You can see the basket to his left. I don’t know what disc he flicked but he pulled it off and parked us for the save three. George continues his hot hand converting our deuce on #12:
On #13 SilverWolf mocks me for using the Trak off the tee. I point out that I parked this basket with the Trak warming up. SilverWolf and Larry are teeing off with putters. They spray their shots. Meanwhile George converts my Trak drive…
…for another deuce. Giggle…giggle. On #14 SW turns his putter over off the tee and it’s in the “water” of the creek that runs up the right side of the fairway. The “water” was a lovely shade of…rust…this evening, and had a somewhat gelatinous surface…
You know it’s nasty when it’s 4″ deep and he’s using a stick and standing 2′ from the “waters” edge. Can you say Love Canal? Behind 15′s tee I find another carcass:
Note the “water”. SilverWolf parks and deuces #15:
I convert the Ridge on #15…
…to push the hole. George deuces #16 for us off his drive…
…while I stand around looking cool. On #17 I drive the Ridge here…
…and miss the putt. George bails us out…
…overcoming his fear of the camera. SilverWolf does the weird putt thing again…
…for their deuce on #17. George and I finish -13. I don’t think that will get it done. If we hadn’t blown #6 (which was totally embarrassing) and gotten #14 (a slightly less embarrassing miss) we could have been contenders. At the parking lot Sparky says his team is -14. Sigh…I Nomads roll out.
Results courtesy of Sparky:
Neil/TK -17 won playoff
Doug/Boyce -17 lost playoff
Tex Mike solo -14
Will R/Ian -13
Hawk/George Shaw -13
Johnny B/Brad Fletcher -7
Wednesday: I was thinking I would take today off from playing but then a Lace showed up via FedEx from Disc Golf Center:
Since I was 3-0 in my satisfaction with the other Vibram discs I wanted to take this out and give it a whirl. My competitive choices were both doubles:
Rockburn-15 minutes away
Seneca-60 minutes away
I went with Rockburn. First I swing by our new shiny library that replaced the old library next door. It is very fancy. It took me awhile to find the actual books. They were hidden upstairs…as if in shame. I pick up one of the latest from Hard Case Crime:
You should always judge a book by its cover. From there I swing by the Merrell outlet to look for discing shoes. My current ones are about 2 or 3 years old, heavy, and wearing out on the side. I found a lighter trail shoe from their Barefoot Line. As an added bonus they were partially red. With shoes on feet and Lace in the ‘Sac I moseyed over to Rockburn. I chat up a guy in the parking lot who has a 5 month old Shar Pei with him. I head down to #18 where some of the locals have already arrived and begun hydrating…
…for the round. It is 91 degrees by the way. Gump hydrating prior to the round:
In the background is Ron. If disc still is the game where whoever has the most fun wins, Ron will be one of tonight’s losers as he ends up partnered with the annoyed Ox. Shawn from the first round of the Birdie Bash is present. He spies my 4 Vibram disc ‘Sac and engages me in Vibram banter. Meanwhile he is warming up his putting with 3 VP’s two of which are soft. I mean really soft. Shawn says that they are so soft sometimes they don’t even make a sound when they hit the chains. I hadn’t seen this rubber in person yet, but at one point Shawn putts one into the basket and the disc actually tries to squirt out of the backside of the tray:
I head over to #1 to throw some practice drives with the Lace. I uncork it and it turns into a hyzer bomb. I throw it again…same result. Hmmm…where is all this wicked understability everyone was complaining about at Scarboro? I throw it twice back up #1…same results.
It’s mini picking time. TD Jerry invites me to draw. What am I…Vanna White? Two nights in a row the TD tries to get me to do this. Jerry wisely selects the lone lady present this evening:
I suspect this is the closest he’s been to a woman since the war, or he’d really like to borrow her socks. In the background Shawn regrets not wearing his pink shorts and green socks. Minis hit the dirt:
I’m partnered with Neil who had been out on #1 with me discovering that his Firebird and my Lace have a lot in common. Our card mates turn out to be Jerry and a different Shawn who is sporting Sinatra style shades and Vans! On the way to the first tee I spy this:
I manage to resist the incredible temptation of putting it in the ‘Sac and moseying around the course with it for a couple of hours. However I am deterred by the thought of being pursued and pummeled by a group of angry Girl Scouts. Jerry appears ready to roll:
One stool as he’s part of the Can’t Stand For Two Hours Club, several orangeish discs, and a six pack of adult beverages. I only managed to get Neil’s disc in the air on #1:
Jerry tees off on #2:
…get us straight down the pipe with the Trak leaving us with a 15′ putt for a deuce. Neil steps up and gets us to within 10′. Neil steps up and converts the deuce. I doze off and fail to get the pic. On #3 I opt to use the Lace to hyzer into the basket. It does that, but we don’t convert. That thing has a mean left fade for me. Sitting on the bench at #5 I’m mesmerized by my new shoes:
Neil: Are you a Redskins fan Hawk?
Hawk: No. These are my clown shoes from my days in the circus.
Meanwhile Neil unleashes a drive on #5 that results in this…
…challenging conversion for our deuce. On #7 we lose the tee to Jerry and Shawn. Stepping onto the box at #8 I go all Ruthian and promise to park the basket, we will deuce and regain the tee.
Jerry: That’s a rather bold statement.
Hawk: (holding up the Lace) I have a meathook!
It’s a two. On #10 I have my first try at turning the Trak over. It does it and goes deep! Comedy moment ensues when Shawn misses his cards three putt and Jerry has to walk the 100′ to putt out he was hoping to avoid. Looking down on #17 we spy Ron and Ox a.k.a. Team Redshirts. We exchange pleasantries with Ox who seems dissatisfied with how his teams round is going. On #13 Shawn converts this putt…
…for a deuce. On #14 Jerry puts in this putt from underneath the tree…
…for a deuce. Neil and I begin to worry. Regular readers will be familiar with my routine parkage of #14 in this position with the Leopard. I actually blew the Trak past the basket:
I did make the deuce putt despite the menacing downhill. Neil’s drive on #15…
…gave us this putt…
…which he bangs home for a deuce. On #16 Shawn converts Jerry’s drive…
…for yet another deuce. We get to #18 thinking we are tied. I bust out the meathook and actually get us to a putt possibility. Neil then one ups me with his drive. It’s a flashback to #2! We are looking good. The other team takes Jerry’s drive. Jerry jump/run putts it…
and misses. Shawn…
…also misses. Neil steps up…
…and makes what we think is the card winning deuce. Shawn pawns the scorecard off on me to add up…and we are tied! Doh.
Results courtesy of Jerry:
Waymon Peet & Nick Nenno 49
Phil Denhardt & Zach Leuchner 50
Neil Thomphon & Hawk Corrick 51
Mike Stockman & Joe Palank 51
Jerry Curtis & Shawn Alfano 51
Donny Wilson & Steve Hawks 54
Rozzie Pappafotis & Shawn Johnson 54
Ron Amon & The Ox 54
Joshua Bohannon & Mike Peyton 54
Jeff Kennedy & Zain Marfani 54
Ben Church & Steve Werneth 62
Thursday: If it is Thursday that means Triples at Druid Hill Park in Baltimore. When I leave my place it is 80 degrees and sunny. When I arrive at the park 30 minutes later it’s overcast. Thursday Night Triples is the big “doubles” event each week in the area. Players are self rated on a 1-5 scale. 5′s are the big boys. I’m a 3. Random draw. Each team of three must be made up of a total of at least 7. I run into Flippyputt and we throw a couple of practice holes. On #3 there is an OB jogging path down the right hand side of the fairway. I take the Lace and bomb it over the OB line figuring it will hyzer back in. I land 10′ from the basket. I’ve never been past the tree before! Hmmm…
We head back to tourney central for the draw. Rob and Gawler…
…are ready and willing to take your money. The minis are drawn and stacked in threes:
I’m starting on #9 with Andrew (you may recall he, Greg and me winning the Druid Hill Charity Bowl months ago) and Jason. I’m thinking we have a shot to be decent.
Jason gets us rolling:
Followed by Andrew:
We go 0-3 on our birdie putts from Jason’s drive:
Stand by for a recurring theme. #10 we take Andrew’s drive…
…and go 0-3. The blossoms are out in full force:
On #11 Andrew unleashes an awesome flick leaving us with this putt…
…which we go 0-3 on. On #12 we take Jason’s drive…
…and go 0-3 on the putt. #13…
…ditto. This is beyond embarrassing at this point. On #15 I catch a scenic shot of Andrew teeing off:
We take Jason’s drive who simply walks up…
…and makes our first deuce! #16…
…we go 0-3. What you thought momentum was going to break out? On #17 I figure I can meat hook the Lace up the incline towards the basket, and actually do. We have what should be a makeable putt for the birdie. See previous hole recaps. Andrew bombs his drive a little closer…
…and collects our second deuce. Note the Lace in the left background. On #18 we are going to the island green. We take Andrews drive…
…and go 0-3. Back on the front nine we take Jason’s drive on #1…
…and go 0-3. On #2 we take Andrew’s drive…
…and Jason hits the putt for our deuce. On #3 we take Andrew’s drive…
…and return to form going 0-3. At this point Andrew and I have resorted to my tried and true philosophy of just throw it really hard. I unleash the Lace on #4 landing here:
I replicate Jason’s strategy from #15 and walk right up and hyzer the Ridge in for the deuce. Note Andrew indicating the Ridge actually in the basket. Obligatory product placement:
#5 has a new basket position way up the hill to the right. Jason is rolling with some Vibram discs also. He’s been flicking his Lace and hammers it up the hill for an awesome drive:
We go 0-3. There’s a back up on #6 since the basket is in the E position which is barely still in the park…and the park is huge! Greg (the third part of the triumphant Charity Bowl victory) walks up and goes, “Anyone want to hacky sack?”
Meanwhile the temperature has dropped 15 degrees and we are all seriously getting cold. #6 doesn’t appear to be deuceable for us. Andrew elects to throw his second shot from his drive. Jason and I go from Jason’s. I hyzer the Ridge down the road and park the basket. I miss the 10′er. I call for Jason. He misses the 10′er. Jason calls for Andrew who comes over and makes the putt for our three. We can’t make eye contact with each other at this point.
#8 I take the Ibex and land 15′ from the basket. Naturally I miss the putt, but Jason steps up…
…and gives us a high note to walk away with in the gathering dusk. Team scores courtesy of Turbo:
-11 (winning score)
-10 (2 teams)
-9 (2 teams)
-8 (1 team)
-7 (3 teams)
-5 (4 teams)
Yes we tied for DFL.
Who doesn’t enjoy a triple feature?
*Bonus Feature: The Return of Dick Myers
On Friday Dick calls to tell me he’s signed up to play in the Punisher next month…
Hawk: I thought you were retired.
Dick: I am, but Vegan Ray is catering the BBQ lunch.
Hawk: So you signed up for an Association event just for the lunch?
Dick: Like I haven’t done that before?
Hawk: Couldn’t you just pay for the lunch and roll in at noon?
Dick: You know…that’s an idea!
Later Dick texts me: Any action tomorrow?
At first I’m not sure what he means by “action”. Then I figure out he means disc. I reply that I might do Druid doubles or check out Patapsco. He replies he could do Patapsco between 11 and 12. Match on! Now this is a somewhat stunning development since I haven’t seen Dick play since North vs. South back in October, and know of him only playing once since then when he played/paid off Jerman back in January.
Dick and I end up in the line to enter the park where the guy taking the entrance fee clearly wouldn’t cut it working at McDonald’s where speedy retail transactions is the key to survival. Dick parks first and spots someone of interest teeing off on #10. Meet Cult Member Michael:
Naturally Dick and I don’t warm up at all. We proceed to #1. Dick is sporting his recently acquired Masons ring:
Hawk: Has that gotten you laid yet?
Dick: Absolutely not!
Hawk: You look like the Green Lantern.
Dick: I like to think of it as more of a Power Ranger kind of thing.
We decide to play the short tees to the short baskets. I capture Dick teeing off on #1:
This drive on #3 with the Ridge…
…gets me the first deuce of the round. On #5 I drive the Trak here…
…for another deuce. Dick teeing off on #6:
Dick snaps me with his iPhone on #6:
Dick launches his TL on #8…
…which s turns towards the basket looking very promising. He converts this putt…
…for the deuce. On #10 I get back on the deuce train when I put the Ibex here…
…for my two. The wheels come off on #12 for Dick when I put the Ibex about 15′ short of the basket. Dick elects to go with one of his Beasts and tries to spike hyzer it in. It doesn’t hit the plateau and sails right down the incline towards the river. We hear it crash land into some leaves. We look…for an exhausting 30 minutes. We are confident we know where it should be but can’t find it. We rappel down the incline further than either of us has ever gone down toward the river before but there is no sign of the red disc. Dick eventually has to do the walk of shame back to the tee. Meanwhile I blow my drive into a horrific four earning only a one throw advantage from this debacle. On #15 Dick drives his rainbow pride Buzzz here…
…and converts for the deuce. I find this latest bit of philosophy on the bench on #16:
As both of us had predicted Dick fades after #15. Scores:
As we head to the parking lot I jokingly suggest going around again. Shockingly Dick says he would be up for that, but we need to grab some lunch first. Lunch with Dick means Subway. Dick suggests we do a crosstown and head over to Rockburn instead of returning to Patapsco. We hit Subway and Dick starts sexting Badger who is having a disc yard sale today. Dick figures he can pick up something that will “go left” to replace the lost Beast. I suggest a meathook Lace. We arrive at Badger’s place and there are actually people buying plastic. Dick finds a Pro Destroyer he likes. I figure there is no way he can throw that. The transaction takes place:
Nipple tweaking an added bonus win visiting Badger’s garage. Note how DIck is morphing into a total Lex Luthor look. As we are departing Badger sells a JuJu to a passerby for $5. This man knows no shame! We arrive at Rockburn.
Dick tees off on #4:
On #7 I find a flyer for the upcoming Punisher…
…that someone has chosen to embellish. Dick teeing off on #7:
On #8 Dick drives the Destroyer here…
…but misses the putt. Note the Lace in front of Dick’s drive. Here’s a closer look after I convert the drive for a deuce:
Dick left his mini in the Mini Cooper. He resorted to using his phone during the round as a marker. Here you can see Dick utilizing the iMini on #11:
I keep waiting for him to step on it, but he manages to not crush his phone. We putz our way around the rest of the course going deuceless. Scores:
Yeah I pounded a guy who hadn’t played in three months,