So I’d seen this brilliantly named tourney listed on the local message board for the past month or so. A family farm has added brewing and the son plays disc so he (Matt) and his buddy Andrew had bought 18 temporary baskets and laid out a course around the farm. A lot of the locals were wound up about beer samples included in their entry fee, but since I don’t drink this Z tier wasn’t really on my radar. Besides most temp courses are some portable baskets in an open field with the basket tucked behind the lone tree. I was going to pass.
Then Matt emailed Greg at NutSac world headquarters recruiting me to show up. Greg forwarded the email to me. I was horrified. Greg as usual left it up to me, but since TD Matt took the effort to solicit my attendance I told Greg I would show up if he could work out the details of me performing i.e. high end call girls and food. Greg said he’d handle those negotiations with Matt.
So I then inform Jerman and Dick that I’ll be at what I think will be the most Z tier of all Z tiers on the 11th. Jerman is aghast and Dick is his usual indifferent. Ironically this event generated the most email/text/call traffic of anything we’ve played in years. The best email comment of the week was from Jer:
The Po Po is going to be the DJ? How whack is this tourney?!?!
The format is one or two rounds. Your choice how many you throw. Only your best round score counts in the standings. Gamesmanship on! Also there is no official start time for rounds. Show up…find two other players and head out between 0800 and 1200. If you want to throw a second round you have to start that before 1400. We spent part of the week haggling over what time we were going to arrive. Jerman wanted to coordinate with me so we’d be on the same card. Dick was going to show up…whenever. Meanwhile I told JDot I’d roll with him round one. Friday night I tell the boys I’ll be there around 1000.
Saturday morning rolling through scenic Westminster I spot this church marquee:
After you die…you will meet God.
I couldn’t decide if these were comforting words or a menacing threat.
This must be the place. Another clue:
TD Matt’s mom greets me and directs me to the parking…field:
I see JDot warming up on #1. He yells that he’s got our card and we’re ready to go. This is a total Dick start to an event. I haven’t even gotten my ‘Sac out of the Civic yet and he’s ready to have us tee off. I mosey over to tourney central and meet TD Matt face to face:
Oh! This Matt is Matt. I know Matt! Free samples if you’re over 21!
Who needs a players meeting?
Jerman rolls in and I tell him I’ve ditched him for JDot. Jerman forms a card with the next discers who roll in. He points out to me later that it worked out for him as I was with JDot and Buster and he was with a 21 year old co-ed. Point for Jer. Jerman has also busted out the tie dye today because what’s more disc than that? Matt takes our pic:
Jerman asks: Who is the real hippie and who is the undercover cop?
#1 is a downhill. I take the KC Aviar and park it for a deuce. JDot oohs and aahs at my out of the car greatness. Buster tees off on #1…
…followed by JDot:
JDot is long and I think I’m going to go one up on the first hole on the man who collapsed at Worlds last month and choked away his Grandmasters title but he makes this putt:
He’s playing Gold anyways so it would have just been a moral victory. Buster tees off on #2:
JDot tees off on #3:
This is not where you want your drive to be:
#3′s basket is a little elevated and Jay found some treasure in the woods!
They are making honey next to #4′s tee:
Buster tees off on #4:
Those are hops growing on the right side. I hate #4. I took a 4 as I hyzered down the hill to the left side rough/creek/thorns/who knows what. JDot tees off on #5…
…and Buster cards a deuce on #5:
#6 was interesting. It wasn’t long, but there’s a pond down the hill. I only brought one ‘Sac to this Z tourney so I wasn’t confident about risking a Leopard so early in the day. On the other hand I didn’t want to sissy out and lay up. I left that to Buster. I decided to throw fear and caution aside and gunned across the pound. I figured that’s a stroke up on Jerman for sure. JDot guns across the pond…
…(after whining about the tall grass in front of the tee) and smacks into the firepit on the other side for a deuce.
I Jerry’ed up for a three much to Jays dismay. Are they growing poppies here?
The raging creek comes into play on #7:
#8 is up the driveway:
As is #9:
I park #9 with the putter off the tee:
Buster tees off on #10:
Which I again park with the KC Aviar:
JDot on #11:
Buster is sporting his own homemade ‘Sac:
Buster tees off on #12:
JDot hacking his way to the basket…
#13 is the first of two uphill monsters. Buster has a go at it:
Note my orange Leopard well in front of JDot’s yellow TeeBird:
No wonder he couldn’t close that World’s deal! As we were schlepping up the hill we noticed that we could only see parts of the basket. We figured it was in a depression near the top of the hill. To our surprise we learned it’s buried in the ground!
Note that you can’t just slide into it as the top of the tray is sticking about an inch and a half above the ground. I take an annoyed 4.
#14 is down the hill with the tee next to the corn field:
JDot wisely tees off with a putter down #14:
It was funny watching drivers come hurtling down this hill by players and seeing them rocket past the basket into the woods beyond. You don’t want to be here:
As we get to #15 I realize that I haven’t seen Dick anywhere. Normally you can hear him grunting on his drives, talking or exclaiming on his botched throws. Just as if this was a cheesy movie, ten seconds after this thought rolls through my head, I hear a grunt. Was that Dick? 5 seconds later I hear: “Oh crap!” I then see Dick sauntering down #4. So he’s here and he’s 11 holes behind me and 10 behind Jer. It’s back up the hill for JDot on #15:
I drive into the field o’ hops and turnover approach for a three. JDot’s putt for three…
…misses and rolls down the hill and his putt for 4…
…yeah it’s a 5 for Jay. JDot tees off on #16:
I hyzer out over the field o’ hops and power 35′ past the basket:
It’s a turnover approach back to the basket for my three. Meanwhile Jay takes a deuce:
JDot tees off on #17:
Note the disc speed restriction sign. Another KC Aviar drive and my mini shows where I made my deuce from:
Jay was a tad bit long and off the fairway on #17:
Buster tees off on #18:
Round complete we head over to the picnic tables and tourney central for lunch. The product:
On the board everyone kept talking about growlers. I had no idea what a growler was. Jay brought his to get it topped off…
…and the mystery was solved. Note to TD Matt: Perhaps a better tourney name would be the Ruhlman Growler. Hmmm…
If you didn’t bring lunch you had your choice of purchase options:
Pizza, hot dogs, pulled pork and large boxes of donuts that had Dick’s name all over them! Inside the lobby of the brewery you have the menu:
And the bartender:
Discer or undercover cop? Speaking of the police here’s Officer DJ:
Jerman rolls in and fuels up with a hot dog, a slice of pizza and his usual:
Scores are being tallied at tourney central by the staff and Andrew:
JDot, though disgusted with his first effort of 53, and Buster decide to bail. Scores from our first go at the course:
Flower child Jerman:
Though I packed my lunch I always have to try the local cuisine:
Jer convinces me to roll out for another round with him. I get TD Matt to join us since he hasn’t thrown yet. Dick lumbers up to tee off on #18 and begins yelling at Jer and I to wait for him. We yell back that we know he’s going to eat and we’re not waiting. Besides we’re already moseying down to #1′s basket. Jer and I deuce it. Matt tomahawks on #2:
Jer deuces #2 to start out hot chasing my 55:
As we tee off on #3 a very attractive woman and some guy park and walk up to Matt. They start talking.
Lady: Matt this is my husband (Jer and I begin supplying her dialgoue) and he can’t get it done in the bedroom. Who are those studs in the tie dye?
Jer and I park #3. He deuces his third hole in a row to start the round. Oh oh! Matt’s drive was down the hill and his putt for two…
…missed and rolled back down giving him this putt for three:
It’s a four. Jer: Get the camera. I’ll be your stooge. Jer attempts to retrieve his made deuce on #3:
Not for actual use:
At this point we learn that Dick went 57 in his first go at the course. It’s never good when Jer says, “Let me have the camera:
It’s a five. I hate #4. I get revenge on #5 this round by actually making my deuce putt:
Matt mans up and guns across the pond on #6:
Jer deuces #6…
…again! Matt does as well:
Matt tomahawking on #7:
Jer whiffs on #8:
Matt’s off the fairway on #9:
Jerman flamencos a miss on #9:
Jer deuces #10:
Jerman’s bid for a three on #12…
…tumbles out. I’ve reeled Jer in a bit. I figure I’ll make up some strokes on the hills going up #13 and #15 as he can’t power up them as well as I can. #13 I drive. I approach. Jer’s taking the anticipated 4. I’ve got a 20′er for the three. I let the putt go…
On #15 Jer is short up the hill as expected. I’m in the hop rows again. All I have to do is execute the exact turnover out of the rows I did in the morning with JDot and Buster and I’ll pick up a stroke on Jer. I hit the big ass pole at the end of the row. Naturally Jer’s approach didn’t make the basket so it’s another wasted opportunity. 4 and 4.
We get to #16. Jer is two up with three to go. He’s beating my 55 at this point. I take the Coyote out instead of the Leopard to not overthrow the basket this time. I hyzer over the hop rows and slam into the left side of the fairway. It’s not good as I figure it’s buried in the rough. I look away when Jer yells that it’s rolling. As it rolls down the hill and through the hops rows Dick exults down on #11. This looks like a dagger. I find the Coyote and I’m 80′ out. I Flutie the KC Aviar on a hyzer line back up the hill and it slams into the basket for a deuce! Dick screams below in agony. Jer and I giggle because he thinks he’s a factor.
Down one with two to go. Jer shorts his drive on #17. My putter is right of the fairway. I walk up and I’m right under a barbed wire fence. I need a Bobby Vodka turbo to pull this off. I fidget around to work out a putt. I let the 25′er go. It clears the barbed wire and lands on the edge of the tray…and out! Jer visibly exhales and begins breathing again.
#18: I drive past the basket. Jer is short…again. I have to make my putt to tie him and force a play-off as he is heading for sub 55. The dreaded words come out:
Let me have the camera:
Scores from the second round:
Jerman: 53 (110)
Hawk: 54 (109)
Dick: 58 (115)
I score an empty moral victory, while Jerman wins the day with the best round and gets the NutSac Challenge point:
NutSac Challenge Standings:
It’s a Z tier at a brewery so naturally there are no final results for the Silver division posted yet.
Stay thirsty my friends,