This past weekend the usual suspects (Dick, Trip and me) gathered to confront our new personal nemesis Sparky Sherwood in the Advanced Masters field at scenic Seneca Creek State Park. Dedicated readers will remember this as the scene of the Soiree debacle a few months ago.

The temperature was forecast to be 101 degrees on Saturday, and to cool down to 97 on Sunday. Not only did I feel confident that this would work in my favor vs. Dick (and to a lesser degree his physical opposite Trip) but might finally give me the edge vs. Sparky. There was no doubt Dick would fade in the heat. The only real question was whether or not he would actually just explode and we’d all be pelted by his flesh raining down on us in the second round.

Arriving at the park on Saturday I see that TD John is in a tent roughly the size of my apartment. He’s even got electric fans running in there. The players meeting begins and TD John goes through the usual stuff. He mentions that he has an alcohol permit for the event (this brings the loudest cheers of the weekend from the players) but you have to be on grass to drink. I look around to see if anyone else notes the poetic irony of this statement. I seem to be alone in this observation. There’s no 2 meter rule. He begins to detail what tees we’ll be playing…on Sunday. Do we really need this information now? Will any of these players retain this information for 24 hours?

We head out to our holes and I see Sparky is styling his double NutSac trophy bag from the Swamp Stomp a few weeks ago. I ask if he’s actually going to carry it in the round and he informs me that he is for at least the first round which is short to short. I start on hole #1 with Bobby H. and Danny E. Bobby is the local who put the final dagger in the misery that was my Soiree experience when he pointed out that my group had teed off from the wrong tee. When I registered TD John told me I was second in and that Bobby was first. I requested to play with Bobby cleverly figuring I couldn’t screw up with him on my card. Warming up with the boys I had deuced #1 and #2. Now that it mattered I threed #1 and#2 and nearly lost my Coyote in the tall grass on #2! I did bounce back by deucing #’s 3 & 4 though. The rest of the round was a fight to finish under 54 (vs. the 60 I shot on this layout 2 seasons ago) and try and be reasonably competitive.

Scores from the first round:

Dick: 52

Hawk: 53

Trip: 54

Naturally Sherwood shot a 50 so the second round is me, Dick and Sparky on the same card. As the temps got near and over 100 Dick decided he wasn’t going to carry his 10 discs in his mini revo bag, but he was busting out his old disc cart! We hadn’t seen this monstrosity in several seasons. Just the sight of it makes me giggle. He loads the sleeves up and we had over to #10 to start the second round. Sparky joins us and he’s still working his NutSac. I look inside and he almost has as few discs as me! He’s carrying six: A Yeti Pro Aviar, a DX Roc, a DX Cobra from 2002, 2 star Roadrunners and a Star Vulcan that he never throws. So we have two NutSac’s on the same card. On the first hole a couple of shirtless casual discers come strolling along. We let them play ahead of us as it would be cruel to make them sit behind our tourney pace. Then I realize one of the guys also has a double NutSac. It’s photo op time! Dick leans on his cart and waits this out. At the next hole I see that Chet B. has sponsored the hole and is even bragging about the use of the Polecat as his putter. Since I only know of three players who actually putt with a Polecat I’m thinking image wise this is the way to go for Chet. As anticipated Dick fades in the heat and I overtake him for the day. Unexpected was Trip reverting back to the Suicide Bomber and going out and blowing himself up.

Scores from the second round:

Hawk: 60

Dick: 63

Trip: 73

Sparky gets another 2 throws on me to finish the day five out in front.

The question for Sunday was would Dick return? His record of playing the second day in two day events stands roughly around 2-19. I arrive at the park first. I get a text from Trip saying, “Dick is OTW” I reply, “Dick is overweight?” Dick rolls into the park 3 minutes behind me. Trip is third. We warm up on a few holes and then attend the players meeting. I find myself sitting next to Buckethead who is consuming fruit in a socially inappropriate manner. The third round is me, Dick and Sparky again. Trip is relegated to second card with Wayne and a rotating Intermediate player. This is Trips second round with Wayne. The three of us snicker. Sparky continues to beat Dick and I down with his damn DX Cobra. Dick asks Sparky if the devil was hot like Elizabeth Hurley in Bedazzled when he made his obvious deal of his soul for disc prowess. My theory is that Sparky is more like a vampire. We simply can’t kill him. I begin looking at the downed brush on the course for a good wooden stake. I wonder if he will actually appear in any of the photos I am taking? The highlight of the third round is my deuce on #27. All three of us drive and I’m second to throw. I’m about 200′ out. I launch the Coyote and Dick goes, “That’s an easy 3…or maybe a 2″ a second before the Coyote crashes chains and the adjacent holes react to greatness. I turn to pick up the NutSac smirking. Dick is ready to throw his approach and says, “Can you clear that please?” but rescinds the request when he realizes I am leisurely strolling towards the basket in the disc version of a home run trot. For the rest of the day players come up to me with, “That was a sick shot man!”…”Are you the guy who made the sick field shot?” That’s my second sick shot with a Coyote. I did the same thing a few years ago at Codorus. The Coyote is my friend. The round ends with the expected mediocrity.

Scores from the third round:

Hawk: 68

Dick: 68

Trip: 68

I lose three more to Sparky so he’s got me by 8 going into the final round. Lunch confirms Dick’s claims from Saturday that young Michelle has became a full blown Dick stalker/groupie. Dick told us on Saturday that she had asked to be on his card. Michelle was the lady who I made Dick ask to make the call on 2 vs. 3 rounds at the Swamp Stomp when he was paralyzed with indecision. She manages to spend most of the time between rounds talking to Dick. I’ve known Dick for 7 years or so now. He’s not that interesting! At lunch she punches him in the shoulder…twice. The second shot was pretty good. He was staggered but managed to stay on his feet. Somehow Trip has managed to escape the Wayne card and joins Dick, Sparky and me for round 4.

We start on hole #21 and I promptly give Dick a throw back. Things shuffle back and forth until we get to hole #13 which is Seneca Creeks signature hole. Trip promptly goes OB on his drive about 20′ off the tee. Dick’s tee shot powers down the fairway and clears the desired manhole landing area and may have slide OB. Trip’s 2nd shot is also OB. Look out everyone that man is wearing an explosives vest! Dick’s shot is OB. He executes a skillful circle four though. Trip is all over the hole. Sparky takes his Cobra drive and goes OB rounding the curve. The only question now is will Trip keep it under double digits? The hole ends with me taking a weak straight 5. Sparky goes circle 8, Trip goes double circle 9. We get to #15 which I was able to handle rather well this weekend vs. the round dagger it repeatedly was to me back during the Soiree. As we finish out on #15 we think we spy a homeless person living in the park, but it turns out to be Brady who has come out to mock our efforts. On the tee of #17 I stand up and white stars start circling before my eyes. The heat may finally be getting to me! I pause, and then throw my Leopard into the branches 70′ off the tee. Apparently 200 ounces of water each day was not quite enough! On hole #18 Brady asks, “Where’s that creepy little guy you guys normally play with?” Dick parks and deuces #19 with his flag TeeBird for the shot of the round. On #20 Dick’s second shot roller disappears. About 8 of us look for 10 minutes but don’t find it. He has to do the walk of shame back to his previous lie accompanied by an extremely giddy Tripwire. Naturally the roller is found 30 seconds after the official call of three minutes. It was in a spot that no one would believe it would end up in.

Scores from the fourth round:

Hawk: 67

Dick: 72

Trip: 72

I finally got two throws back from Sparky who shoot a 69. He goes on to win his third title in a row over us by six throws. An empty moral victory for me as his personal goal was to punk us by double digits. No unofficial results are up at this time so no unofficial ratings are available. I did some research though and I suspect that Trips second round 73 is likely to be 824ish which may count in his rating, and may actually bring his 819 back into his rating. Time will tell.

Photos are in the Yahoo! group. Please note the antics of Sparky in the background in a couple of them. I didn’t realize he was doing anything until I uploaded them last night. Comedy gold!

Next up for me will be the Druid Hill Open in about a month. Dick and I may go back to Whispering Falls the week before if we feel motivated to try and seek some Intermediate redemption and TD Brad can guarantee us a sixsome to play in the first round.

Dick remains the only one of the four of us not to finish ahead in an event this season.

Wondering where my groupies are,

YDGH