A Diner In Boone Iowa

Greg: Why are we here?

Hawk: The meatloaf is awesome.

Greg: No I meant in Iowa. This is Iowa right?

Hawk: Yes.

Greg: Okay. The last few states all looked alike to me.

Hawk: Welcome to the Midwest.

Greg: This fish special looks promising.

Hawk: No one orders fish here. You are 1,500 miles from a coastline.

Greg: So what’s up?

Hawk: I can’t keep doing the blogs.

Greg: Why not?

Hawk: It’s gone from being an amusing writing outlet to a grind. It’s almost like a job.

Greg: Hello…it is a job. You can’t quit. We have a contract. (waves a piece of paper)

Hawk: That’s a cocktail napkin from a strip club in Lawrence Kansas.

Greg: It’s a legally binding document.

Hawk: It’s totally smudged.

Greg: It’s still legible. Look it’s notarized!

Hawk: That looks like purple lipstick.

Greg: Now you’re being absurd.

Hawk: Look I’m not bailing on the company. I love my NutSac.

Greg: Who doesn’t?

Hawk: Love my NutSac?

Greg: No my NutSac.

Hawk: Are you doing that double entendre thing again or do you mean the product?

Greg: Yes.

Hawk: I fully intend to honor our agreement and still produce material for you on the website etc.

Greg: Like what?

Hawk: I’m thinking haiku has a lot of potential.

Greg: I have to be honest…I’m not really feeling that.

Hawk: Sleep on it.

Greg: Do you really think I’ll be able to sleep after eating this fish?

Hawk: I tried to warn you.

Greg: Okay. I understand that the blog has been really time-consuming and laborious for you.

Hawk: Laborious?

Greg: Hey you’re not the only one here with a vocabulary.

Hawk: I want to spend some time just playing and not thinking of everything in terms of how I could work it into a blog.

Greg: You mean thought actually went into those things?

Hawk: Minimal admittedly.

Greg: So if you aren’t bogged down with blog obligations you think you’d have more fun playing and improve?

Hawk: Let’s not get carried away here. I just think there are other things I can do for you to help promote the ‘Sac and allow me to have some down time.

Greg: When will you know what that will be?

Hawk: I’ll send you a postcard.

Greg: Deal.

Hawk: Okay I’ve got to hit the head. I’ll be right back.

Greg: Ummm…do you really think I’m going to fall for that again?

Hawk: Fall for what?

Greg: The last time we did this you crawled out the bathroom window and stuck me with the tab.

Hawk: Excuse me. There was a fire. I evacuated the building.

Greg: No one else left and there was no fire.

Hawk: I can’ help it if you people don’t have the same finely honed survival instincts I do. I’ll be right back.

Yeah I stuck him with the tab,



April 1, 2014Permalink

Swamp Doubles: 3-30-14

So it’s week four of this debacle. What could go wrong today?

Just a littler rain is all. I arrive at the Swamp where the crowd is sparse. I check the temp:

Cloudy? Hello it’s pouring out here!

I squish my way out onto the course to throw a couple of drives with very unimpressive results. Scurrying back to the car I spy this:

Hmmm…are we going to play “Guess what’s in the baggie?”

The Swamp is truly living up to its name today:

Amazingly/curiously ten of us have foolishly come out today for this:

My card is starting on #1 and the other six masochists are herding from #10:

I’m partnered with TD SoCal and he gets his bath started:
 His attire says to me ninja or oil well fire fighter. Please see John Wayne in Hellfighters. Rickster gets him team going…
…enroute to a round of heavy lifting on his part. Isn’t this a scene from some 1970′s disaster/horror movie?
This is probably the last time the ‘Sac was dry today:
Usually something like this…
…is known as a tributary. On #2 SoCal has a nice drive for us leaving him with this deuce putt…
…which he misses. Not to be outdone, I also miss. Oh oh. Cue ominous music. Any minute now…
…I expect an airboat to come zipping through the course. Vibram may want to start mentioning that the rubber seems to float:
Trust me…
…this is the right side of #10′s fairway. On #12 SoCal has another nice drive…which we both fail to convert. At this point I’m not really feeling my fingers anymore. While we are stinking the place up, Rickster has been deucing his way around the course and romping us. Across the creek on #14 I find this:
Yes across the creek was SoCal and I’s best choice. At this point we are just hoping to get under par to save some face. On #15 SoCal has the better drive. Mine slid across the teepads of #16 which are not typically considered part of the fairway on #15. SoCal steps up…
…and finally gets us off the snide. Yes it took a 7′ putt for us to get a deuce. On #17 we take SoCal’s drive again and he goes for a back to back…
…and reverts to our form for the day with a miss. I step in and hit left side chains high and somehow the Ridge drops into the tray for a garbage deuce. On #17 SoCal continues carrying my ass through the last few holes with a Stratus drive leaving us this putt…
…for our turkey deuce which he converts. Yes it’s a crap picture. I think the cold was finally getting to me at this point. Just call me Shakes the camera guy. So we are three down which is really embarrassing from the reds at the Swamp. We could blame the conditions, but Rickster was rolling us like a couple of drunk conventioneers until he ran out of gas around hole #12. We both have crap drives on #18.
SoCal: Let’s just avoid the bogey and get out of here.
Hawk: No problem. We should be able to approach this for a three.
…or not.
Full results courtesy of SoCal:
Ian Hill/Ricky Cornish  45
Tom Kim/Kelly Boyce   46
Rick Honn/xxxxxxxxxx 48
Johnny Batres/Larry Bishop   51
Hark Corrick/Mike Chvojka   52
DFL baby!
This is called…
…saturated. SoCal did gift me a couple of bitchin’ official Swamp pencils:
It might be time to rethink this,
March 30, 2014Permalink

Swamp Doubles: 3-23-14

So last week I was trading emails with SoCal and I pointed out that I was beginning to think that Sunday Swamp Doubles is cursed. I offered up the following evidence.

  1. After week one a player was backing his truck out of the parking lot when his front tie rod snapped. Both his front tires were then angling inwards making the truck undriveable and looking cross-eyed.
  2. Before week two Zain rolls in with his dog Eyziah who leaps out of his car, rushes across the road and bounces into the side of a car driving through the park. Fortunately it was more of dog hits car than car hits dog but it was scary. Zain took Eyziah to the vet and returned as the round finished to show everyone he was okay.
  3. The past three Saturdays have been nice days. The past three Sundays have been overcast, dreary and 15-20 degrees cooler than Saturday.


Since I’ve been flipping the Lace and Trak I contacted Vibram corporate to see if perhaps after a seasons worth of use I’ve beaten these discs into a state of understability. I pose an in-depth query via email and receive back from Steve the following detailed reply:


So I’ve swapped out all four discs for fresh rubber. I figure the Lace will be a meathook for a bit like the original one was, but I’ll work that out. I head down to the Swamp. I’m warming up my putting, and naturally they are all going in, which is never a good sign. Understable Ed moseys over and we chat. Ed then notices an animal going down #2′s fairway and wonders out load what it is. We look and agree it’s a racoon. Of course a racoon out during the day is usually not a good sign. Justin is here with his dog Laurie and I begin to yell to Justin that he should leash Laurie since there’s a possibly sick racoon on the course. He doesn’t hear me until the exact moment Laurie spots the racoon and gives chase. Justin and I take off after Laurie. I’m thinking a potentially rabid racoon is not something Laurie should be getting into a fight with. Laurie naturally beats us to the racoon, clamps down and starts tossing the ‘coon about. I pick up a stick thinking it will be useful to fend the racoon off while Justin grabs Laurie. This goes on for what seems like forever as Laurie and the racoon are fighting and the racoon is losing. I finally manage to get between the two of them and while the racoon is on its back I pin him down with the stick and wait for Justin to yell all clear that he has Laurie. During this time I’m standing there thinking to myself:

“That is one mangy looking racoon. It has to be rabid. I’m standing here holding it down with a stick. I’m an idiot.”

Justin clears Laurie out and I let the racoon loose and he scampers up a tree. Both animals appear to be unharmed from the skirmish. Yeah there’s no jinx on this league. The only thing missing is an ancient Egyptian tomb on the back nine.

SoCal asks me to draw the chip determining today’s CTP hole and I draw the same #14 I did last week. So I redraw and get #18 which is probably the worse potential CTP on the course. You could likely win the CTP and still eat a three. We’re all partnered up and my card is starting on #10. Naturally for story continuity sake Justin (part of last weeks winning team) is on my card but partnered with Chad:

Left to right we have…Justin, Laurie, Chad and my partner James. Chad tees off…

…and nearly loses his shorts. Yes he’s wearing shorts in 42 degree weather. Justin is too quick for me. James gets us going:

I manage to snap Justin teeing off on #11:

Chad nails this putt…

…on #12 for the cards first deuce of the day. James and I are not making putts. For example this was my drive on #15:

James and I both missed this putt. We should probably not be allowed to play competitive disc. Meanwhile Justin converts their drive…

…for a deuce. I finally contribute on #16 with a drive and a conversion of our putt after James misses:

I show James missing so you can see the challenging distance I managed to convert. Enraged by this humiliation James drives and makes this putt…

…on #17 for us. Unfortunately for us Justin converts their deuce chance…

…to push the hole. So we get to #18 and again the CTP is not particularly impressive. We all think we have a shot at it. Justin out distances it but ends up on the creek bank making us all think any subsequent card will never find it. Justin runs his putt from his CTP:

No it didn’t go in, but he nearly hit me as I was kneeling to get the shot. James and I finish the back nine tied with Justin and Chad giving us false, and brief, hope.

Rules? We don’t need no stinking rules! On #1 James drives and putts for our deuce:

Justin does the same for his team:

Justin follows this up with the same script on #2:

Chad converts this deuce putt…

…on #4 for his team. Meanwhile James and I continue to not make putts. #4 was a turning point for us though. Up to now James was hitting metal and I was airputting. The rest of the way out I started hitting metal and James started airputting. #5 equals another deuce putt from Chad:

I figured that was the dagger for us and Justin and Chad were simply playing out the round to try to get to romp status. Justin makes this putt on #6…

…to complete the turkey for their card. Just to rub it in Justin drives and deuces #8:

Justin and Chad beat us by five…

…to earn romp status. Full results courtesy of SoCal:

Justin Duncan/Chad Baker 46
Randy Harris/Dennis Cavallaro 48
Bob Johnson/Matt Verbisk 49
Bobby Noble/John Smoot 49
Rick Honn/Ed Buskirk 51
Hawk Corrick/James Shook 51
Johnny Batres/Mike Chvojka 53
Ian Hill/Jeff Fischetti 55

League standings are available here…


…as we all chase Kelly.

Tune in next week for another episode of Doubles of the Damned,


March 23, 2014Permalink

Swamp Doubles: 3-16-14

So it’s back down to the Swamp this morning to see if I can be part of the winning team again in week two. It’s a bigger turnout than last week so the challenge is going to be greater. Last weeks double ace thrower Kelly has returned and has graciously decided to share her bounty with the players by offering hydration to any interested parties:

SoCal has me pick the CTP hole via numbered poker chips out of a bag and I draw #14. Bobby Vodka parked that sucker last week. Letters are drawn and I’m an E. My partner this week is Randy. This bodes well for my chances of going back to back. We’re matched up against Ian and Travis. We’re starting on #10. It’s class pic time:

Left to right you have Ian, Travis and Randy. Randy tees off on #10…

…as he begins his journey while anchored to me. Ian begins his day with a flick shot:

Followed by his partner Travis:

We (term used loosely) take Randy’s drive which he converts…

…for our (term used loosely) first deuce of the day. Travis makes this putt…

…to match our two. Randy’s drive with his Firebird on #12…

…left us with a drop in. On #13 Randy drives here…

…and converts for another deuce. On #15…

…I finally contribute by driving us close with the Ridge. Before we putt Ian converts this putt…

…for a deuce. My putt for two hits the chains low, almost in the tray, and bounces out. Yeah it’s going to be like that today. I figure no problem as I’ve got Randy. He finally proves human by also missing the 20′ putt. Randy rallies on #16 by making this deuce putt:

Ian also makes the deuce putt on #16:

Randy continues to drag us forward with another deuce on #17:

Travis bangs this putt on #1…

…for a deuce. Travis and Ian follow this up with a deuce on #2 which I figured wasn’t make-able so I didn’t even bust the camera out for Ian’s putt. Meanwhile Randy continues to prove I’m just dead weight with this drive on #2:

#4 equals another Randy deuce:

So we’ve played 13 holes and all I’ve contributed is one drive which we both botched a 20′ putt off of. I pull out the Trak on #5′s tee…

…and finally contribute to the effort. Travis converts their deuce putt on #6:

At #7′s tee we run into Bobby Vodka who is sporting a t-shirt proclaiming himself a superhero:

Travis stays hot making this deuce putt on #7:

Randy has another excellent drive on #8…

…for a drop in deuce. Randy wraps up our day with a drive and deuce on #9:

“We” roll in -10…

(Randy -9/Hawk -1) which was the winning score last week so I’m liking our chances. Unfortunately Justin and Ricky came in at -12 relegating Randy and me to second place:

It’s going to have to be a cheaper lunch today.

Scores courtesy of SoCal:

Justin Duncan/Ricky Cornish 42
Randy Harris/Hawk Corrick 44
Ian Hill/Travis Freund 48
Ed Buskirk/Stephen Heaps 48
Rick Honn/Jeff Fischetti 48
Bobby Noble/Matt Verbisk 48
Jerry Mudd/John Batres 48
Tom Kim/Kevin Johnson 49
Mike Chvojka/Jason Batres 50
Kelly Boyce/Neil Kice 50
Dennis Cavallaro/Billy Rommal 50
Larry Bishop/John Smoot 54

At least with doubles there’s a redemption chance in just one week,


March 16, 2014Permalink

Swamp Doubles: 3-9-14

Now that the charity tourney season is over I was trying to figure out what to do with my 2014 regular season. I muddled through several scenarios the past few weeks then decided that the one thing I haven’t done in years, and not since I started blogging for NutSac, was to play doubles. Since I’m at the gym after work during the week I can’t make any of the after work doubles around here. That left the Sunday doubles down at the Swamp. I figured playing doubles each week at the Swamp would be a good storyline.

Swamp Doubles has been run the past few years by SoCal Mike. He was stepping aside to run Freestate Doubles which is a local series in Maryland where the top point accumulators across the various weekly doubles play off at the end of the season to determine the Freestate Doubles Champs. Replacing SoCal running Swamp Doubles was going to be Dub. Then several hissy fits ensued and SoCal is still running Swamp Doubles. My storyline has already turned into a reality show.

I jump in the Civic at 0852 this morning to head down for the 0945 check in. I notice the oil change sticker the dealer left on my windshield from my Friday oil change:

I’m not feeling confident seeing that the technician put down the mileage from Friday for when I should need my next oil change. Did he expect me to circle the block and come right back in for the next change?

I get to the Swamp. SoCal has an actual sign in sheet:

  • Full name

Then you check off the boxes you are paying for:

  • Entry
  • CTP
  • Acepot

I’ve never seen such a well-organized doubles. I go entry and CTP. I meet some of the regulars. SoCal does the poker chip draw like I used to do a Patapsco and Metl/Buckethead do at Seneca. I pull an A chip and am partnered with Zain who I’ve never met before. Since we’re A playing B we get to start on #1. First doubles of the season means we’re going from the red (short) tees. I take a class picture:

Left to right we have my partner Zain, and team B composed of SilverWolf and Bobby Vodka. Since we’re A I go and then snap Zain:

SilverWolf begins his morning:

Followed by Mr. Vodka:

The Swamp is in primo Swamp condition today:

We get on the board first when Zain converts my Obex drive…

…for a deuce. It was windy this morning so I was rolling O-Lace, Ascent, Obex and Ridge. We get another deuce on #3 when Zain converts his drive for a deuce:

I flipped the Obex over on #4. While walking over to retrieve it I find this:

It’s a ladder bridge! Bobby converts his drive for the first deuce for the B team:

Zain got us close with his Shark…

…and deferred to me to make the putt to try to get my putting going. I pull my weight on #5 when I park it with the Obex:

Bobby runs their putt on #5:

Okay so that was just an excuse to get another pic of my drive in. Zain drives and…

…deuces #6. On #7 the B team take Bobby’s drive. Bobby whiffs. They are about 60′ out. SilverWolf putts and just as I think to myself,

“That needs to get up.”

It airbounces and slams chains for the two. It was total garbage. SilverWolf parks #9 with his JK Aviar:

After a missed putt on #9 my Ridge takes a little Swamp along to #10:

We get to #10 which is today’s CTP hole. The CTP is not particularly close. The four of us discuss the fact that one of us should be able to beat the CTP and win it since we are the last card through for the day. We all screw it up.

SilverWolf: You guys haven’t deuced since #6.

I whiff off of Zain’s drive, but he…

…doesn’t! As we mosey to #11 I hope to myself that Kelly (our lone female participant today) isn’t going to be on the CTP emasculating all of us:

Zain’s drive on #12:

We go with my O-Lace. Heading to #13′s tee we hear chains crash on #15 and look back to see Kelly standing on the tee with her hands in the air. So now she’s won the CTP and aced a hole. Bobby points out that she’s partnered with Randy today who is probably the best player out here so it seems likely Kelly will do the sweep i.e. win the CTP, hit the acepot and win the doubles. Rattled by this analysis SilverWolf’s drive lands…

…in the Swamp. We get to #14…

…where Bobby tees off with one of his DX Rhynos for about the 10th time so far and…

…parks it. On #15 I drive the Ridge into the base of one of the guardian trees but it gets on edge and actually rolls around the tree giving us this deuce putt:

Note SilverWolf at the basket trying to figure out which of their two drives is closer to the basket since one was short and the other was long. SW steps up first and flip putts his effort into the tray. Bobby steps up and…

…believe it or not this did not go in. Bobby declares their team will deuce out the rest of the way. He backs this up with a drive and a putt on #16. I put the Ascent here…

…for us and make the putt with the Ridge. On #17 SilverWolf and I land near the basket with his JK Aviar and my Ridge…

…for matching deuces. Please note I was closer. After matching threes on #18 off Bobby’s Destroyer and my O-Lace; Zain and I finish 44 to Bobby and SilverWolf’s 46:

So I’m actually forced to hang around to see if our 44 will stand up as the winner. The second card comes in with matching 46′s. Kelly’s card finishes last and she informs us that she also aced #3! So she got #15 with her Grange Roc and #3 with her Packers TeeBird:

No one can remember anyone getting two aces in one doubles round. I mention to her that I only have three aces total in my career. She looks at me with pity. Amusingly; even with her two aces, her card comes in at 46. Zain and I are triumphant! SoCal Mike has to get a second place team as they will get their entry fees back. So it’s another CTP from #10 blue:

Bobby Vodka…

…fail. SilverWolf….

…fail. Randy…

…fail. Kelly…

…fail! Ha! Fishman…

…fail. Ian…

…looks like a winner. Understable Ed…

…fail. Rickster…

…do you need to ask? SoCal Mike pays off Kelly for her CTP and two aces…

…and she departs the Swamp with two fistfuls of cash and our collective manhood. On the plus side I earned lunch money:

Scores courtesy of SoCal:
Hawk Corrick/Zane Marfani 44
Jeff Fischetti/Ian Hill 46
Bobby Noble/Kevin Johnson 46
Rick Honn/Ed Buskirk 46
Randy Harris/Kelly Boyce 46
Ricky Cornish/Mike Chvojka 47

Tune in again next week for another exciting edition,



March 9, 2014Permalink

7th Whispering Falls Freeze

Last year Coach and I went up to Pennsylvania to play in this BYOP charity doubles tourney. Since Coach has said he’s taking six months off to rest/heal his shoulder I reached out to El Tie Dye to be my partner. El Tie Dye agreed. Then a week later Coach contacts me looking to put the band back together. I inquired about his timetable (he’d taken six weeks off before he played in Maryland vs. Virginia) and he muttered something about feeling good. Since I already had a partner Coach went looking on the message board like a lounge lizard during happy hour.

Thursday and Friday we had two snowstorms roll through here that left us with about 12-18″ of snow on the ground. This was not getting me excited, but my partner is insane:

El Tie Dye: I love this %@#!

Obviously I’m not going to talk him out of playing. He tells me to put ribbons on my discs so that when they hit the snow I can find them. I did lose a black Eagle in deep snow at a charity tourney at Rockburn years ago, so I figure I will give this a go:

I figure I will take eight discs out of fear of losing something in the snow. Above are the drivers: Lace, O-Lace, Ascent and Trak. The highway to PA is clear…

…and obviously well salted! I’m five minutes from the course:

I hit the parking lot and the course looks like this:

I sign in with TD Brad…

…who also looks like he’s ready to rob a bank. I’m also concerned that as a hearty Pennsylvanian he’s this bundled up when the temp is supposed to be in the low 30′s. This is 10 degrees better than last year with no wind! El Tie Dye has already signed in and he’s out on the course warming up. Term used loosely. TD Brad usually runs a CTB (closest to the beer) and I spy this…

…and figure this could be the prize. I make a pit stop and am greeted by this sign…

…in the mens room. Everything you need to know about today’s event:

I go looking for El Tie Dye and find Coach in the parking lot:

He’s gotten Justin to be his partner this year. He admits he’s only given his shoulder two months to heal. Hearty souls warming up on the practice basket:

I remain standing on the paved parking lot. El Tie Dye and I finally hook up and he unveils his dyed ‘Sac:

It’s rather impressive:

Back at tourney central I find these bags…

…which have taken the ribbon thing to extremes! The four-foot pink ones belong to Freight Train. Last week I traded private messages on the local disc board with a player who had a ‘Sac and was wondering how I got ours embroidered. Meet cult member Bradley:

He’ll be featured in a future Cult Member Profile where I will ask him a series of embarrassing questions. If the TD is standing on the picnic table…

…it must be the players meeting. As pointed out previously all you need to know is on the board:

I’m somewhat concerned that TD Brad actually has to refer to the board since it only has three lines of information on it. It’s 27 holes of plodding through 10″ of crusty snow. There are two divisions. Ca$h and Plastic. The entry fee was the same for either division so El Tie Dye talked me into jumping into the Ca$h pool.

El Tie Dye: We’ll get to play with better players!

We’re starting on #16. I find the first of many sponsorship signs:

I don’t know if these are for the charity bowl or an Association event from last season. Any sandwich shop named Porky’s has potential. We are carded up with Tim who is playing his first tourney ever and his buddy Aaron who may or may not have played ever. Aaron tees off to begin his day:

Tim missed the mando on his drive and Aaron is short in the fairway. I give El Tie Dye a look that says:

We’re playing better players in Ca$h?

El Tie Dye gets us going:

El Tie Dye has brought a shovel to clear off the teepads…

…and as a ‘Sac stand. We take my Trak drive…

…which didn’t bury. My second shot with the O-Lace on #16 tombstoned:

The water fountain seems to be out of service during the winter:

Ready to tee off on #19:

El Tie Dye is just ahead of Tim’s drive on #20:

I Trak us to our first deuce chance of the day. I…

…miss. El Tie Dye…

…misses. So it’s going to be like that. I’m double stuffed today:

Besides the four drivers in the back in the first pic up top I’ve got the Obex, Ibex, Summit and Ridge with me today. Note my fabulous #4 Swamp Tag and the fancy tag holder Carol gave me. El Tie Dye’s drive on #21 made a lovely curl in the snow:

I Lace us to this deuce chance on #21:

…and miss. El Tie Dye…

…misses. In literature we call this a theme. The one thing I am learning from not being able to run up and flail away with my “power” x-step is I am throwing straight. Lately I’ve been turning the Trak and Lace over, but today with a one step approach I’m actually throwing where I’m aiming. This one step throw is something I’m going to utilize going forward this season. Aaron hyzering off the tee on #22:

Being a newbie he clearly should not be throwing a Wraith. Someone get this man a Leopard! Tim launches into the winter wonderland:

Reinforcing my point about the one step I put the Lace here…

…off the tee for our deuce. Those are the boys second shots in the background. El Tie Dye wasn’t sure I could convert this so he captured the putt:

Note me powering the Ridge home. We fumble our way through the rest of the 20 numbered holes. Back on the original 18 El Tie Dye tees off on #17 with an anhyzer line:

I opt to Obex on the hyzer line to flirt with the mando arrow:

Tim: I don’t know what to do here.

Hawk: Do what I did.

Tim: Yeah right…

I hear it hit snow on the other side of the marshland. Aaron…

…isn’t quite as lucky. The Obex sets us up for our second deuce of the day:

Tim runs his deuce effort:

Aaron tries to convert the deuce for them:

El Tie Dye documents me securing the deuce:

On the walk to 18′s tee Aaron takes a play break:

I O-Lace us over the marshland for long approaches to the basket. El Tie Dye insists these are deuce putts and should be snapped. Please note the  flight path out of our hands on both of these “putts”:

You’ll be shocked to learn that we took a three. It’s noon so lunch is being served at tourney central so we pull off the course to eat. TD Brad’s dad is serving us:

First he scooped mashed potatoes into the bowl. Then he putts chili on top of the mashed potatoes. A hot dog goes on top of the chili, and that is topped off by cheese!

This is the greatest tourney food ever:

When I was waffling on whether or not to bail on playing (of course since I had a doubles partner I had to show) I texted TD Brad to make sure his mom was making this for lunch. El Tie Dye enjoying his lunch:

Note the subtle product placement in the background. Tim turns out to be a vegetarian so he’s going with just cheesy mashed potatoes:

He does share granola bars with us. Heading back onto the course where El Tie Dye are trying to beat Tim and Aaron by 27 throws due to their newbie status. I spy this in the parking lot:

I make a heroic 40′ putt for us on #1…to save a four. Number two takes us into the woods of the original 18…

…and looks really ominous. Aaron and Tim pose for their class pic:

El Tie Dye and I show the boys how to pose:

And how to place product:

Tim tees off on #2…

…which was low and slid way down the hill to the left. At this point Tim and Aaron are busting out their smart phones and shooting video of each other. This was probably the most documented round in blog history. Aaron executes the safe drive…

…to keep their team in the fairway. I Trak us into the fairway…

….and we four it. Another fabulous sponsor sign:

El Tie Dye tees off on #3:

It was at this point that the unspoken question of how Tim and Aaron ended up playing in the Ca$h division was answered. It’s important to keep in mind that they are actually impressed by the “skill level” El Tie Dye and I are demonstrating in this round.

Aaron: So explain this Ca$h vs. plastic thing to me.

Hawk: The Ca$h group is playing for money and the plastic group are playing for discs.

Tim: Ohhhh….when I signed us up and the guy asked me Ca$h or plastic I thought he meant the method of payment so I went with Ca$h.

Mystery solved. El Tie Dye has tears of mirth in his eyes.

We get to #5 where TD Brad tries to drive home the point that we are throwing to the A pin:

You have to clear the gully…

…which El Tie Dye fails to do. Only I and the Lace manage to do this though I x-stepped it and yanked it. Note to self: One step/throw. He wasn’t kidding about a tree on the long basket on #5:

The tee at #6:

We take El Tie Dye’s drive on #7 for a deuce run…

…which he misses. I have a perfect line with the Summit…

…but sail gracefully one foot under the tray. #8′s tee:

Clearly Kelly has no shame, or current photos. #9 is honey yogurt granola bar break time courtesy of Tim:

Aaron’s drive on #9 goes awry:

Note the newbie sticker still on the bottom of the disc. These guys have the right attitude though. They are having a good time. I had taken to calling Aaron the indifferent discer because on every throw he would step up and in one motion throw his disc while holding his bag. This made getting a pic of him like trying to snap Bigfoot. I manage to capture him nailing this putt on #9…

…to save a three for his team. So we get to #10. TD Brad had considered skipping 10-12 since you have to go down the big hill and then hike 1/4 mile from 11′s basket to 12′s tee. Though on game day he decided to have us throw these three holes. Everyone was worried about losing a disc going down #10 because you hyzer towards the river out of sight to the basket. El Tie Dye tees off…

…and it’s right down the fairway until the ribbon trailing off the disc gets hung up on a small limb and the disc is suspended in the air! I fling the Ibex down the hill…

…poorly, but I get a fortuitous slide back to the fairway. Tim tees off hoping to hyzer toward the river:

Followed by Aaron:

Note he’s holding his bag! You can’t have enough shots of El Tie Dye’s disc hanging by its ribbon!

It’s like a spaceship in a cheesy 1950′s sci-fi movie:

So the question became, “How do we get that down?”

El Tie Dye’s first thought was the shovel. When you’ve got a tool you use it. So he tries to throw the shovel and knock the disc down:

I feel this moment really sums up our day. Tim starts throwing his water bottle at it. I go with a downed branch. We’re all hitting it, but the ribbon is really wrapped around, or caught on a small limb. Aaron finally proves to be smarter than the three of us. He walks over with a long limb, snags the ribbon; snaps the twig off that the ribbon is caught on, and the disc hits the snow.

It has come to this. We’re taking pics of putts to save threes. El Tie Dye…

…misses. I step up with the Ridge and make this putt.

El Tie Dye: That’s the first time one of us picked up the other all day.

Hawk: That is a sad highlight.

Found towel on #13:

I Trak us to a potential deuce on #13. I…

…miss. El Tie Dye…

…fakes me out and then…

…misses. On #14 Tim points out a favorite tree of a woodpecker:

El Tie Dye powers off the tee on #14…

…and into the second tree on the left. Tim hyzers onto the slope:

Aaron is walking around with a frozen clump on his boot…

…that will not dislodge. Aaron tees off:

I Trak us…

…to yet another three. I get a pic of Tim putting on #14 to save the four…

On #15 I Obex us through four goalposts as my tape fails and my blue ribbon flutters to the ground. We have a hope for a closing deuce…it’s a three. I can’t get enough of the ‘Sac/Shovel combo:

TD Brad’s write up:

Another Whispering Falls Freeze is in the books, with many thanks to the 52 players that braved the cold, and at times, miserable conditions to come out and join us. With at least 8 inches of snow on the ground everywhere and drifts approaching two feet it was a challenge to be sure. The “Baton Death March” was definitely interesting, but everyone survived.

Big thanks to everyone that spent time out there shoveling tee pads: Matt, Russ, Thom, Boger, Mark, Tim and Ben. Even bigger thanks to the Antrim Township Road Crew for getting the park opened up and plowed for us. I know after a 10inch snow fall the park was at the bottom of their priority list, but knowing we had an event scheduled they made it happen for us.

Thank you to everyone that always helps behind the scenes with check in, score checking and most importantly food prep: Mom, Dad, Cari, Russ, Thom and Stiles.

Thanks to all the players participation we are able to make a $300 donation to Maranatha Food Pantry.

Thanks to Roy Pitz for the swag donation for CTP. Dave Newlin took it down.

No aces were hit and Brad C. won the CTP throw off.

Underdogs (Jay and Skip Hummel): 73: $100
Last Minutes (Dan Becker and Justin Duncan): 74: $50
Holden Stable (Brendan and Tighe Holden): 75: $35
Team Sober (Wayne Nordberg and Andy Slater): 78: $20
John & Johnson (John Buck and Shawn Johnson): 78: $20
NovaHoes (Chadd O’Brien and Ryan): 79: $20
Team Eric B (Eric Buschman and Eric Boger): 79: $20
Mass Attack (Travis and Anthony): 80
TMNT (Steve Minnick and Erich): 80
Hotdog Down A Hallway (Kelly Dunnavant and David Newlin): 81
Disc So Hard (Rob and Brad): 81
The Snakes (Timski and Ian Donnakay): 81
Me and My B*tch (Russ and Brad): 82
Indignus Et Superbus (Hawk and Mark Stiles): 85
Disc Who (Tim and Aaron): 117

No Name (David and Austin): 76: $80
EPDG (Chris Rogus and Gusty Golden): 81: $40
Tigerbomb (Chad and Jason): 83: $20
The Tricksy Hobbits (Mark Diedering and Ron Hoover): 83: $20
Chunky Tuna Fish (Brian Fish and Brian Junkins): 84: $15
Pin Hyzer (Greg Walter and Shawn Wenger): 85: $15
Cheeba Chew (Matt Shaffer and Jason Williams): 90
Love Connection (Ben Shifflett and Mark): 91
Sprechen Sie Disc (Dustin Sullivan and Wayne Trump): 91
Dr. Wang (Matt Swartz and Thom Moore): 95
Roy Pitz (Ryan and Chris): 97

I am wearing my big boy pants,


February 17, 2014Permalink

Calvert Winter Tag Match

So earlier this week Dick posted up that he was holding his 50th birthday poker game today. Of course this was the Swamp Charity Bowl. I had explained this to him at least four times that the Swamp tourney wasn’t last Sunday, or this Sunday, but today. Clearly I failed to get his attention without a Subway foot long as part of the conversation.

El Tie Dye was going to show though so I moseyed down. I arrive to find Sharky hunkered down in a car with a younger man:

I snap the pic thinking this could be valuable to the authorities later when this guy goes missing. I’m later informed that this is Sharky’s son. I’m not totally buying that story as I go to press. Welcome to disc:

I force TD Clark..

…to stop warming up so I can register and get going. I had no idea Clark was happening enough to be rocking a Fiat Abarth. I fail to ask Clark what else he has in common with Charlie Sheen. Clearly a journalistic error on my part.  He’s letting folk head out as soon as they form a card so El Tie Dye and I are ready to rock and roll. Dub rolls in from the front line of his ongoing war with Rockburn. He’s sporting the stylish hat of the day:

So everyone gets their own scorecard. I get two mulligans as a Silver. I’ve never played an event with mulligans. Rickster pays and joins El Tie Dye and me. El Tie Dye then pony’s up an additional $10 to get 12 more mulligans. Clearly this gives him a competitive advantage. This is exactly how the nuclear arms race in the 70′s got out of hand. I pony up $10 to level the playing field. So does Rickster.

I was going to roll Lace/Trak/Ibex/Ridge but since I’m clearly going to be taking extra throws I add O-Lace/Ascent/Obex/Sole/Summit:

Rickster’s backpack:

El Tie Dye is rolling with his DGA plastic…

…and some Innova plastic he claims he won’t throw. So why is it in the bag? The boys make me tee off first since I paid first. We’re going from the white (middle) tees. It is 27 degrees and not going above freezing. My hand-warmers are not working as usual. El Tie Dye begins his round:

Rickster is next:

El Tie Dye utilizes his first mulligan of the day:

So does Rickster:

And a second…

This could be a bad sign for Rickster. El Tie Dye’s first drive landed in a part of the frozen Swamp:

I convert my Ibex mulligan drive for a deuce:

We’re off to #2!

None of us have brought our skates. El Tie Dye putts for a deuce:

…and again:

It’s mulligan mania! I mulliganed the O-Lace here for another deuce:

At #4′s tee Sharky saunters up, as his group hasn’t teed off yet.

Sharky: Do you want to take my picture?

Hawk: No.

Sharky: I’ll take a picture then.

I’m not clear on what the point of the hand is…

…but Sharky insisted it is a viral sensation! Looking at this pic I again think that Rickster is dressed like a guy getting ready to defuse a bomb. I point out to Rickster that if Sharky’s group hasn’t even started their round yet we could be here for a while before everyone is done.

Rickster: This will take all day. You’ll have time to not just have lunch after we are done, but go have a sit down lunch and then go do some shopping and then come back.

These prove to be prophetic words of wisdom from Rickster.

El Tie Dye deuces #4:

Rickster deuces #4 when this putt s curves in!:

I don’t deuce, and waste a mulligan with an inferior second drive. We are each keeping our own score (just like real golf!) and marking our used mulligans. I fail to take a pic at the end of the day of my improvised card. At the tee to #5 Badger and SilverWolf pass us. Clearly Badger is an El Tie Dye disciple…

…and appears ready to rob a bank. El Tie Dye living the dream on #5:

Rickster on #5:

My Ibex mulligan drive deuce on #5:

El Tie Dye on #6…

…where he made the goalpost double mando. I did not. Hello mulligan! El Tie Dye decides to have another go at it:

Good thing I charged up the camera battery last night. El Tie Dye usually wants to get into the photographer swing. Here I…

…miss the deuce on #8. Rickster deucing #8:

El Tie Dye putting on #8…

Rickster on #9:

On #9 by Ibex drive…

leaves me a Ridge putt I miss. El Tie Dye grabs the camera and captures me…

…putting the Sole in for a deuce. El Tie Dye also deuces #9:

Waiting on #11 to let the Badger/SilverWolf/Clark card play through us El Tie Dye mentions that in addition to his ridiculous amount of outdated tags on his bag he also has…

…a thermometer and a compass! When was the last time you were playing a round and someone goes…

I wonder which way is Southeast?

Note the 2007 tag. Hello it’s 2014! Live in the now!

I notice the filthy towel on SilverWolf’s bag and Badger points out that SW’s putter matches:

Rickster: I wouldn’t touch that thing.

SilverWolf tees off on #11…


Tie dye attire? Check. Ponytail? Check. It must be disc. Badger tees off:

Clark tees off…

…and just hyzer bounces safely around the mando El Tie Dye had missed with his first drive. This is how close Clark was to missing the mando:

So El Tie Dye didn’t like his approach from his retee so he used a second mulligan and his second approach was way worse, but under today’s format he had to play the second approach. Two desperation putts results in a double mulligan use four! He slinks to #12 with his head lowered in shame. El Tie Dye’s drive on #12 leaves him this putt for a two…

…it’s a three. Rickster putting on #12:

El Tie Dye psyching himself up to tee off on #13…

So on #13 I turn the Lace over and it heads into the creek. Rickster predicts doom for me. I get to my lie and…

…You Don’t Want To Be Here. El Tie Dye is giddy. I need a big turnover through the trees to get back to the fairway and the basket which is about 100′ away. I decide to give the Summit a chance for glory. I whip it up the bank of the creek and actually get out into the open. Rickster and El Tie Dye are impressed as the Summit sails over the basket by 3′ and hits a tree behind the basket to leave me a 5′er for my three. Rickster runs his deuce on #14:

El Tie Dye runs at #14:

The County had done some tree cutting in the park to accommodate the small airport nearby. I’d heard about this, but hadn’t seen it. They have cut the tops off most of the trees. Rickster described it as Dresden circa WWII:

El Tie Dye putting on #15:

…and again:

My Obex mulligan got me here…

…for a deuce. Up to this point every deuce has come off a mulligan re-drive. I get another deuce on #16 off this Obex drive:

Rickster’s deuce on #16 was a tad bit easier:

I’m no arborist but I don’t think this is good for trees:

El Tie Dye attempts to capture my deuce off of my Ibex drive on #17:

This was my only unassisted deuce of the round. We finish our round with Rickster at 46, I’m 47 and El Tie Dye posts a 50. As we head to the parking lot Sharky…

…and his four card mates are just coming off #9! Rickster was dead on with his prognostication of the length of this round. Of course this…

…could be a contributing factor to the slow play. I didn’t know Corona made a sport drink. Accompanying Sharky on this death march is Neil…

…who is rocking the Fu Manchu mustache this season.

Badger approaches El Tie Dye with a set of white sheets he wants dyed.

Badger: I like blues and greens and…

Hawk: Colors that are good at hiding stains and blood?

Badger: Exactly.

El Tie Dye: No problem.

El Tie Dye suggests we past the time by going out and doing a one disc match play speed round. I decline to run on frozen/icy/slushy ground so we just do a mano y mano one disc match play round from the white tees. El Tie Dye goes with his Squall, I take my Obex. On #5 I park the Obex here…

…for a deuce. I’m two holes up. I promptly give one hole back by again missing the goalpost double mando to the right off the tee on #6. My desperation ace attempt to push the hole hits the left side mando tree. El Tie Dye runs #8 with his Squall:

I blow this deuce chance on #12 off this Obex drive:

At this point I believe I am four holes up on El Tie Dye. It’s also at this point that we catch the Sharky/Neil fivesome who are playing #13. Yes they’ve finished three holes in the time El Tie Dye and I have played a dozen. El Tie Dye’s drive on #13…

…hits some Swamp. Not to be outdone my drive on #14 hits some Swamp so I go casual relief on my second throw:

El Tie Dye is rallying and makes this deuce on #15:

He deuces again on #16:

I miss the mando on #17 to give that hole to El Tie Dye. I don’t even attempt the desperation ace run to push the hole. We are tied after 17 holes. I take a four on #18 to give El Tie Dye the win. Every group is done except for the Sharky/Neil fivesome. I run over to the Maryland campus in search of workout tees. I return to the Swamp just as the cow tags are being handed out. My score ends up tied for second best but I lose tiebreakers to Kelly and Dub since I used more mulligans. I wasn’t worried about any potential tiebreaker. I wasn’t leaving anything in the bank. This means I am the proud holder of Swamp Tag…

This is going to look awesome hanging off the ‘Sac. Speaking of ‘Sac’s El Tie Dye has joined the cult:

The next time you see that ‘Sac it will look something like his sweatshirt. TD Clark’s write-up:

Well, that was fun. In spite of the lowest turnout we’ve had (16 – I blame MD ice bowl burn out), I think we raised more money for the food bank than any of the other (four or five?) years I’ve been running it. The key to that was extracting more $ per entrant, which was largely accomplished with mulligan sales. It went like this:

Hawk registers first, forks over the basic $10, gets his two free mulligans.
Rick does the same
Stiles walks up with $20 and purchases all of the extra mulligans for a total of 14
Hawk suddenly realizes that he won’t be able to compete with only 2 mulligans, takes the ten back and replaces it with a twenty
Rick does the same

After that, everyone bought at least 6 extra mulligans. The final food bank tally:

Registration: $160
Mulligan sales: $150
Other Donations (Stiles and Badger): $40
Total: $350

Tag – Name -Score – Mulligans at Start – Mulligans Remaining
1 – Rick Honn: 46-14-0
2 – Kelly Dunnavant: 47-14-6
3 – Tom Kim: 47-6-4
4 – Hawk: 47-14-0
5 – Kevin Johnson: 48-14-0
6 – Badger: 48-16-0
7 – Mark Stiles: 50-14-2
8 – Mark Sherwood: 52-14-0
9 – John Bates: 53-16-7
10 – Clark Carrington: 53-16-1
11 – Jeff Fischetti: 54-6-0 (way to step to gold division Jeff)
12 – Larry Bishop: 56-18-0
13 – Dennis Cavallaro: 58-16-5
14 – Daniel Sherwood: 58-16-0
15 – Dennis Ridgway: 59-16-5
16 – Neil Kice: 59-16-0

I’m also pretty sure that Sharky’s fivesome set a record for the longest round at Calvert evah, at just over three hours.

I’ve got lots of tags left. You can use them anywhere, and they make great stocking stuffers. TK has a handful of them.

Next Sunday El Tie Dye and I are partnering up to play as a doubles team at Whispering Falls charity bowl.

Bickering will ensue,


February 9, 2014Permalink

Patapsco Charity Bowl

While this might be considered my home course…

(El Tie Dye: I don’t really consider you being from anywhere)

…I wasn’t going to make this charity tourney since it was originally scheduled for Saturday. I had my annual eye exam appointment already scheduled for Saturday. Then the event publicist Badger posted up that the tourney was going to have to get moved to Sunday so as to not conflict with a boy scout event. I only decided to go after I woke up Sunday morning. I loaded up the crock pot with some “big game” food and rolled out.

As you near Patapsco you have to cross some railroad tracks. I’ve been going to Patapsco since ’02 and have never had to stop for a train…

…until today. Curiously all of these rail-cars are empty. They have also almost all been tagged…

I get ripped off after waiting for six minutes and…

…there is no caboose!

I pay my $3 honor system entry fee into the park. TD No-Spin is just getting things going:

No-Spin: $20…a mini…your name on the pad.

Since the event got moved to Sunday, and everyone has plans, we’re doing one round of random draw doubles. We’re playing from the short tees to long baskets, so we can get out of here in the early afternoon.

No-Spin has also provided a baggie of chocolate:

No-Spin: It’s ghost dark chocolate. Let it melt in your mouth.

All that registers with me is dark chocolate. I pop a chunk into my mouth. Approximately five seconds later my mouth is burning. Turns out that the ghost part of the name is from the ghost pepper…


This is not good! I was not tough enough to finish my piece. Coach is in the parking lot, so I mosey over and talk to him and Seven. When I first meet Seven years ago at Patapsco he was rolling with a DX Cheetah and an Aviar…and kicking all of our butts. Since then he’s actually expanded to carrying a small bag…

…which I am stunned to see has more than four discs in it. Warming up I am making all of my putts. I’m putting all four Vibram molds, and they are all going in. This naturally can not be a good sign. We are called in where No-Spin…

…and publicist Badger go over some details. This takes about 30 seconds. No Spin holds an environmentally friendly shopping bag of minis while Badger pulls out the teams:

I am first out with Matty who is 16 and twice as good as me. Regular readers may remember Matty from North vs. South two years ago when El Tie Dye and I were on the same card with Matty in round two. We are 25…

…strong and Bad Brad ends up as the schizo. He elects to pay double and throw two shots from each lie if he is so inclined. The obligatory group photo is snapped by Badger and me:

I can actually name about 20 of these guys, but I’ll spare you the whole yearbook breakdown. We are starting on #1 and I tee off first with the Trak. I hit the goalpost trees across the road and land OB to the left. Matty looks at me with disdain. I point out that I am three times his age. Matty elects to go roller…

Our opponents this round are Neil (we did this last year) and Bob who is new to the area from Atlanta. Neil gets their team going:

Bob goes second:

Even though we are going from the short tees the deuce opportunities are not going to be plentiful. Therefore No Spin has four second shot ctp’s for today’s event. Following up on my scintillating drive the hole plays out like this…

Matty’s roller got to the backstop giving us a 75′ look at the elevated basket. I over approach it. Matty curls behind a tree leaving us a 20′er with an awkward angle for our three. I doink my putt off the tray. Matty’s putt cuts through the chains and goes out the back side. We take a four and Matty refuses to sign off on his ctp. This is called foreshadowing.

On #2 Matty rallies and has this putt…

…for our deuce. It didn’t go in, but you have to love the action shot! At this point Matty details to me how he beat Moser for an Open title in Delaware yesterday:


He points out that this is the second time he has beaten Moser. I point out that I played with Moser at a Calvert Open years ago. Matty is not impressed. We’re not getting any deuces.

#3: Matty mentions that he finds Sharky kind of creepy. I assure him that is the consensus.

#4: Matty mentions beating Moser again yesterday. I nod; feigning interest.

#5: Matty, “Do you think any place would deliver pizza out here?”

On #6 we actually take my drive. I also execute our up for the three. I consider this a moral victory. We also take my drive on #7.I am en fuego! The “bench” at #8:

On #8 we take full advantage of the days liberal tees. I decide to take pics of the guys. Matty is camera shy and actually punks me into looking away with…

“Hey look. A bald eagle!”

I turn to look, and he tees off. Neil teeing off on #8:

We take Matty’s drive. We are left with an awkward flick/turnover approach. Matty flicks and skips past, but near the basket. I then take out the Ridge and mention that I am the King of Turnover. While Matty mocks me, I unleash a turnover and 100′ later it crashes into the chains for our first deuce of the day. Note the stunned look on Matty’s face:

On #10 we take my Trak drive which, while much further than Matty’s drive, put us…

where you don’t want to be. Matty actually got us out of this mess and then we botched the save putts for three. On #11 Matty declares he is going to do a 360 degree power drive:

It ended up 25′ deep in the left side trees. We took my shorter Lace drive that was in the fairway. We go back to back fours. On #12 Matty powers off the tee (literally) as he tumbles off the front slipping on the combo snow/ice and does an unintentional vertical 360. Of course he out-drove all of us and made this putt…

…for our second deuce of the day.

#13 Matty mentions beating Moser yesterday. I mention that I have to shave once a day. We take Matty’s drive and approach which leaves us with a 25′ downhill putt for the three. I’m so sure Matty will make it I’m not even walking down the hill. He misses. I’m stunned. No ice cream for him tonight! I saunter down and while he mocks me I convert the putt. Moral victory number two.

On #14 Matty suggests we tee off simultaneously:

Photo courtesy of Bob. The view from #15 of the snow/ice/slush covered Patapsco river valley:

On #15 we take my drive. I botch the approach. Matty bails us out. The bench at #16:

We take my second shot which puts us right up against a picnic table that someone has moved into the fairway. I should have taken a pic of Matty’s putt for three because…

1. it was a cool visual.

2. he actually made the 30′er.

On #17 Matty declares we are going to deuce it. He drives…

…and but for a tree on the other side of the path he’d have gotten us there. I landed near the short basket. No one was impressed. Neil teeing off on #17:

Bob teeing off on #17:

We both botch the approach, but Matty saves our three with another 30′er. On #18 we take, again, Matty’s Destroyer drive. We have a putt for a deuce…

…which Matty banged off the tray missing it by about two inches. Matty insists on snapping my attempt. He takes about seven pics. This is the best pic…

…of me not hitting anything metal. The round complete we all shake hands and I Nomads roll out in search of lunch. I figure Badger will post who finished where, but he deemed those details irrelevant:

Publicist Badger’s write-up: 25 awesome, charitable people came out for a slushy, semi-punishing Icebowl. Jim decided on random draw doubles short tees to long baskets…kudos to Brad for some early tee clearing, to Bobby Severe for a nice side donation for the foodbank, and to Chad Moore of Baltimore Outdoor (like em on Facebook) for coming out to see what we do, donating, and playing his first round. Also a big thanks to everyone else for coming out and supporting this event, over $400 was raised. Seeya at Calvert next week!

As Badger mentioned next Saturday would be the Swamp Charity Bowl. I may play because of the rumored return of…Dick Myers.



February 3, 2014Permalink

Druid Hill Charity Bowl: Free Crack Yo!

It wasn’t going to get above freezing today, so I was iffy on playing this. However; the Druid Hill Charity Bowl has fond memories for me due to the Vida Guerra (yahoo! her) controversy years ago with a certain Association tool, so more often than not I show up.

I woke up this morning and while eating breakfast I was channel surfing and found this:

This kind of stuff drives certain discers nuts. They cry,

Why can’t we be on t.v.? The spelling bee is on t.v.!

Now this isn’t the dodgeball we all remember from elementary school. This is indoors…in a mesh cage…on trampolines!

I actually logged about 10 minutes with this. I wasn’t impressed. As a matter of fact, if these guys want to meet me on the black top behind David G. Burnett, I’m sure I can round-up the old 6th grade crew and we could take these boys out.

Since the wind is forecast to be 15 mph with gusts to 25 I decided to swap out the Understable Bag of Thunder for the Overstable Bag of Thunder:

In the upper left is my new O-Lace which I got after Patrick rocked and rolled it down at Giles last Sunday. I’ve brought down my Ascent, Obex and VP from the shelf to see what I can do with these in the wind. Yes…I like red.

If you happen to find yourself in the area playing Druid, the locals all recommend this fine establishment…

…for your post round refreshments. Apparently they are open at 9 a.m.! I arrive at the course and it is cold…

I throw my mini and ca$h in the appropriate containers and TD 857…

…pimps out the Acepot to me. I pass. El Tie Dye is present and he’s donated a Baltimore Ravens themed t-shirt and knit cap as a CTP item:

I actually want the knit cap. The t-shirt is, as usual, an XL. Apparently this is the defacto shirt size for your typical discer. I find a friendly dog:

The locals are working to keep the course clean:

El Tie Dye and I warmed up on three holes. The VP is once again proving to be way overstable. The Ascent is old reliable, and the O-Lace is not scary overstable. Milling around tourney central Andrew says howdy to me. We were carded together last year.

Andrew: Maybe we’ll end up together again.

857 calls us in and gives us a brief players meeting. Note his command presence:

This is triples. Everyone is rated 1-5. Five being 1000 rated. Teams of three are drawn randomly from minis in a bag. A team has to equal at least six. I think the cap is 10. Minis are fondled…

…and hit the table:

It appears we have 48 hardy souls, and Andrew and I end up on the same team again! Joining us this year is Devin. We’re starting on #14. It’s the regular 18 from the short tees and the original 9 x-holes. Next to #14′s tee we find this:

Welcome to Druid Hill. You are in downtown Baltimore hon! Andrew gets us going:

Followed by Devin:

Devin’s drive was impressively close, and he converted this putt…

…for an opening deuce! This may bode well for us.

Devin teeing off on #15 metal…

…with the infamous branch o’ death. Here’s a new course improvement on #15:

Devin converts my Obex drive on #16 for a deuce for us. I forget to snap a pic. Did I mention that its below freezing? Andrew converts his drive on #18 for another deuce for us:

On #1 I drive the Ascent to CTP distance and promptly miss the deuce. Andrew cleans up my mess:

Note the VP laying on the ground past the basket. Not only was it an air-putt, it was an air-putt by about 3′ to the right. I notice my hand is numb. This concludes the highlight stretch of the day for us. We promptly take fours on…



We took my O-Lace drive on #3 and as we approached Andrew somehow grip locked his blue Crow and it landed here:

That’s just a bit OB. We complete our turkey run by fouring #4. In Triples this is beyond bad, its horrific. After #4 we enter the front six X-holes:

On 1X Andrew hyzers a drive here…

…and converts for a deuce. On 4X we agree to try to land next to the big uprooted tree. Devin executes this plan:

I approach and make a 25′er with the VP to save our three. That is the VP/putting highlight for me on the day. Andrew has the successful drive on 5X leaving him this…

…challenging putt for our deuce. Andrew drives and converts…

…on 6X for another deuce for us. At this point I’m the guy carrying the camera and bombing an occasional drive. Back on the main course there are random…

…pumpkins off the fairway of #6. On #8 I bomb the Ascent to here:

I have already missed…badly. Here Devin misses almost as badly as me. Not to be outdone…

…Andrew also misses. This is how our day is going. In the wind we’re not even sure we can make the putt for three…with three chances at it. On #9 I unleash the O-Lace into the 25 mph breeze and it fights the wind but gets caught up in some trees. I’m not sure it came down:

No it did not. Note the tee in the background just under the branch. The city view from #12′s tee:

Andrew has a nice turnover drive down the hill on #12. We have three shots for the deuce!






…0-3! We are rolling! On the plus side we are four holes away from completing our 27. We enter…

…the last three x-holes. We exit the last three x-holes with a string of threes. We finish up on #13. Andrew puts his Roc just past the basket…

…and converts for the deuce. We finish five down. That’s not going to impress anybody. We shake hands and I rush to the car to warm-up and Nomads roll out.

857′s write-up:

$2,764 was raised today for the MD food bank by 48 intrepid disc golfers and a few folks who came just donate and enjoy the festivities. Temps barely above freezing with 25 mph gusts and a frost of light, dusty snow on the ground greeted us. At least the ground was frozen so we weren’t slipping.

Team Ski, Ox, Me came in at -11 and won a 3 way playoff on the super nine’s first hole due to Ski’s lefty brilliance.

Everyone who cashed donated all winnings to the food bank and mark stiles generously matched those donated winnings for the second year in a row. Jason D (4hander) gave a generous contribution and Gawler ran a CTP to raise even more. Most players donated $5 extra to join a CTP pool for various gifts donated by Travis F (TW), myself and the Ravens color tie dye ensemble from stiles.

The 10th annual druid ice bowl was a splendid success. Thanks, everyone. Druid disc golfers know how to put the fun in fundraising.

For the love of Vida,


January 20, 2014Permalink

Maryland vs. Virginia 5 (Day Two)

Sunday is round two of this charity tourney. It’s the drive down to Lorton, VA where historically we have been outnumbered by the locals…and still manage to have a 3-1 record. The GPS, again, takes me off 95 and onto Franconia Rd….for no apparent reason; only to direct me back on to 95. Note to self: Stop listening to the GPS on the way down to Giles. Considering the less than overwhelming Maryland turnout on Saturday due to the weather I’m thinking we are going to lose this years match, so my confidence is not high. I arrive at the Prison:

If the sign alongside the entrance road left any doubt that I was at the right place, this…

…laying on the ground next to the sign confirmed I was at the disc course. I park and check in with Bud…

…who is wearing a hoodie…from a middle school. I spy El Tie Dye warming up, he’s actually going to throw today since he’s not cooking, and I take him over to my car where I have some adult beverages…

.,. for him and Bud as a thank you for sponsoring lunch both days. Yes that’s an old prison in the background. George and I meet up and discuss how awful yesterday was and whether or not we want to actually go warm up. He attempts some smack talk on me. I point out…

1: We’re on the same team…again.

2: I beat him down by 10 yesterday.

We go out and throw three holes. El Tie Dye joins us. El Tie Dye has insisted that I carry more than my normal 4 discs since I have lost two discs here in this event previously and it’s a long and punishing course. I’ve got 8 in the ‘Sac. We return to tourney central where former Women’s Advanced World Champion Kelly…

…has shown up to throw for Team Maryland. She’s a girl. She counts as double points. Team Virginia never seems to be able to get a girl. Insert your own joke here. Sharky has also shown up and he counts double since he’s…old. Kelly and Sharky began a debate on which of them will shoot better. We’re playing the long tee to long basket layout. Kelly is confident she can out perform Sharky. Sharky displays a disappointing lack of confidence in himself. I start polling nearby players and no one wants to take Sharky in a bet vs. Kelly. I eventually offer Sharky $20, but he won’t bet on himself.

Meanwhile I spy this on a trash can:

What’s wrong with this picture?

1. Who would have a workday on a Tuesday? Do none of these people have jobs?

2. Is this from last year? The flyer is in remarkably good shape if it has been in the elements for a year now. If so, why hasn’t someone removed it? Or does the organizer of this effort need to be brought up to speed that it is 2014? Of course when you’re putting so much information on a flyer it’s easy to overlook the small details…like the year. Note the irony of the handwritten emphasis on Tuesday…while the year is wrong!

Bud bellows us in for the players meeting. I’m bored and start snapping pics of players attire:

During the round I ask George if they used his arm in this logo. The Southern Maryland boys drove 90 minutes to support Team Maryland:

Bud is reading…

…a detailed list of instructions. The highlight is when he goes over the three options on how to deal with going out-of-bounds (Giles is rife with OB/thorns) and then says,

Don’t worry about option 3 though since we don’t have any drop zones today.

Note George dozing off on the left during Bud’s dissertation. During announcement the Bull Run workday is pimped out by Iron. I resist the urge to ask him if it was last year or this year. 20 minutes later we have the group pic:

Embarrassingly for the locals we have mustered an almost equal number of Marylanders as the locals have managed to scrounge up. Note the dude in the front with the rolling luggage cart “bag”. Warming up George spied a ‘Sac. Guess who’s on my card?

My card is starting on #18. George and I are together again. We’re joined by Virginia’s Patrick (also the cult member) and John who I’ve played with previously at Seneca and here. John gets our day going:

Patrick is next:

Not only is he a cult member but he’s teeing off with an O-Lace. George…

…lets loose his first roller of the day. He’s evolved from a flicker to a flicker/roller. Maybe in another 10 years or so he will actually drive backhand. It’s rare for me to find two Lace’s (okay his is an O-Lace) on the ground next to each other. Here…

…Patrick approaches to #18′s basket. Walking from #18 to #1 we pass tourney central where I inquire of Bud if lunch is ready. It’s 1030. He offers to let me accompany him to his house where his father in law is helping him bring the food back and set up for later. I decline with visions of crawl spaces and locked rooms in my head. Since the water is deemed dangerously high in the creek we have to get to the back holes via a different circuitous route. After #1 we hike for about 12 minutes to get to hole #14. I’ve never been on this path before so there is some new scenery:

Hello! Oh it’s Sunday. Nevermind. Waiting to tee off on #15:

This is hole #16. This is where Patrick’s Obex landed off his drive:

It’s a 915′ish par 5. The basket is way down there in the distance. My Ibex drive went OB. My third shot with the Lace went OB. I’m 250′ away with three throws and two OB penalties on my card…

…hello double circle six! We couldn’t see the basket when I let the Ibex go but we heard chains crash. George made the crest first and yelled back that I was in. We were all stunned.

Patrick: Running it was the right move.

This hole began a three hole run where all four of us spent at least sometime OB. George found one of his OB drives but couldn’t retrieve it from the thorns. He’s losing a disc a day in this event. After #16 we u-turn and pick up the course on #8 working our way back to the front. On #10 John parks the red basket…

…from the long tee, but we’re playing to the silver basket. At #11′s tee I finally think to take Patrick’s official portrait. Meet cult member Patrick:

The cool thing you’ll observe is that he got a zipper installed in his ‘Sac’s flap so that it’s now a pocket for his keys. Note to Corporate…

We finally get our first deuce of the card when John makes this putt…

…on #11. He’s standing in what used to be a mess of OB thorns that the County buzzed down so now it’s an in bounds landing area. I’m actually surprised this picture turned out since I couldn’t tell from the viewer if I had him and the basket in the shot due to glare. This tree…

…on #12 has seen some action. On #12 Patrick converts his Obex drive…

…for a deuce. John gets his second deuce in a row…

…off his TeeBird drive. George and I are not beating these guys today. We finish #13 and do the long walk back to the front part of the course to play #2. Patrick is winning the card. We finish #4 and while heading to #5 Bud calls over to us to tell us the food is on if we want to grab something. John, George and I do. I opt for two hot dogs in a sub roll. Patrick passes on eating. This turns out to be a critical error. We play #5 and Patrick is OB early. I am OB late. On #6 Patricks drive hyzers OB. On #7 John has a big drive setting up this deuce:


Since we aren’t hopping the creek as normal, and have already played the back, we u-turn and go to #17 to finish our round. The round complete, the scorecard shows that John has slipped past Patrick. Clearly the difference was the hotdogs.

El Tie Dye’s write up:

$1693 raised for area food banks38 players players enjoyed a perfect day and a wonderful course. More of you from the more Northern parts of MD should make the trip down.Gold
59 Naved Hasnain VA 11
61 Keith Forshee VA 8 (aced hole 3, the CTP hole)
63 Ross Pancaost MD 6
65 Tom Alderman VA 3.5
65 Ryan Jones VA 3.5
67 Chadd O’brian VA 2
68 Craig Gangloff MD 1 1/3
68 Tom Kim MD 1 1/3
68 Jeremy Locke VA 1 1/3
69 Tom Coffin VA 1
70 Erik Smith VA 1
70 Heath Hayward MD 1
71 Rob G VA 1
72 Justin Duncan MD 1
72 Tommy D VA 1
74 Ryan Rice VA 1

68 John Weaver VA 8
70 Patrick Smith VA 6
71 Ryan Lugo MD 3
71 Michael Courvoisier VA 3
71 Mark Stiles MD 3
72 Trevor Barger MD 2
76 Hawk Corrick MD 1
79 Kelly Boyce MD 2(F)
79 Daniel Hatfield VA 1
85 Mark Sherwood MD 2(O)
86 George Brown MD 1

70 Kim Brennan VA 4.5
70 Rob Case VA 4.5
72 John Hodge VA 3
74 Keith Moore MD 2
75 Dan (lefty(mostly)) Becker MD 1
77 Jeremiah Burton MD 1
79 Rory Williamson VA 1
80 Edward Klinksiek MD 1
80 Brian Junkins VA 1
80 Rory Duncan MD 2(O)
85 Drew Duncan MD 1

For VA
$390 in entry fees
$3 in separate donations (thanks Jerry)
$80 donated winning
$80 matching

$553 for the Virgina Food Bank

$580 For winning state

Score from today
VA 67 1/3
MD 32 1/3


MD 91 2/3
VA 91 1/3Bud and I thank Hawk for a malt beverage donation. I thank Craig for a glass of his latest (spectacular) porter.A discouraged Bud put this up on FB after the beat down:

This was our best opportunity to get a win but Virginia, especially Northern VA, lacks a sense of community in the DG world. The MD participation at the Giles Run Ice Bowl has increased consistently every year until on a beautiful Sunday they dang near match the VA turnout. Folks come from all over MD, PA & DC to participate in this event for MD. We have so many strong clubs in this region and many didn’t even represent or held events up against each other. For me, it’s just another example of how this area SUCKS!

But wait! Controversy has ensued in that Ryan Lugo was in the Silver division yesterday, but he is a 979 rated player, so he’s not eligible for Silver. He should have been in the Gold division. El Tie Dye has already done the recalculation on what that would do to the overall results, and Virginia ends up winning by 1/3 point. At press time we are awaiting word from Sunday’s TD on how this debacle occurred and what should be done about.

Never pass up a hotdog,
January 13, 2014Permalink