Friday after work I’m on the phone with Trip discussing Saturdays first part of this charity event.
Trip: I’ve got a blank chick calling.
Hawk: A what?
Trip: I’ll call you back.
Saturday: Seneca Creek (Maryland)
I’d spent the past week trying to rally the discers on the local Maryland message board to turn out and help El Tie Dye defeat Virginia in this two day food bank fund raiser. The temperature got into the low 60′s and turnout was good. I sign in with El Tie Dye who is his usual fashion disaster:
The man does have good hair though! Starting our round of 27 on hole #20 I spy another fashionista waiting to start his day on #9:
I’m on an all Maryland card with Trip, Sparky and DJ. DJ makes his first putt of the day which bodes well for our team:
Sparky does DJ one better on #22 by making this called putt:
Trip had an impressive putt on this hole himself, but as part of a trend for the day I missed both of Trips good putts. More on this later! Sparky and I were modeling double ‘Sacs version 2.0 and 1.0:
Sparky and I discussed the true NutSac philosophy. I was carrying the standard 4 discs…two drivers (in case you lose one!) a mid and a putter. Sparky had 7 discs. I told him that was too many. Sparky sinks this putt as our card all deuce #23:
Sparky sporting his official NutSac cap and of course the obligatory fashion of the day:
Near the intersection of holes #25 and #8 there is a garden plot…with a hubcap in the center???
Earlier in the day:
Hawk: You’re rolling that? You never roll.
Trip: I roll all the time.
Hawk: No you don’t.
Trip: Watch me.
Trip tees off with a roller on #9:
There are two things to note here. He’s doing it just to spite me. He’s wearing his tee-shirt backwards. I eventually pointed this out to him.
DJ tee’s off on #9 and overdrives the basket!
My Roadrunner drive on #9:
Best ever…I threed it naturally, but still better than my standard four on a hole that haunts me. Now this was brilliant. Seneca is made up of three nine hole loops that bring you past the parking lot at the conclusion of each loop. El Tie Dye (and his counterpart Bud from Virginia) started serving lunch at 1130. So whenever your card passed through after 1130 you could grab your lunch. No crowd of 70 folk lined up. Our card rolled in. Ate some huge sausages and we’re back on the course in 15 minutes. It was like a NASCAR pit stop.
Hole #11 Trip announces he’s going to roll across the wooden bridge. You can just make out his red disc…to the right of the bridge heading for the gully.
This was the first of several holes where I turned a great drive into a mediocre or downright disappointing score. As we walk towards the bridge I notice a guy in the group behind us. I don’t know if they are in the tourney or just out for a casual round, but one of them is in the cult. Here’s Rick and his NutSac:
The Roadrunner is my friend again on #12:
Sparky tees off on #13:
YDGH tees off on #13:
Another best drive ever that turned into an unsatisfactory 5.
Trip begins another double circle journey on #13:
Seneca’s version of a whispering fall:
I hate #15. You may recall during last years MAAC tourney I took 5 after 5 after 5 after 5 on this hole. My drive was horrific. I bombed in a third shot within 15′ to save a 4. I considered this a win. Meanwhile DJ parks the basket and deuces this mother:
This is Tripwire reverting into full Suicide Bomber mode as he five putts (you read that right) on his way to a 7 on #15.
Note the tee shirt is correct now. My drive on #18 with my new friend the Roadrunner.
The round is complete. Sparky rolls out for his dinner date at the Bangkok Garden. Feel free to insert your own joke here. So day one ends with Maryland way out in front of Virginia due to turnout. The field is broken down into three divisions (Gold, Silver and Bronze) in this ratings based tourney. Sparky, El Tie Dye and me are playing Silver.
Silver
Tom Edwards MD 90
Larry Pearce MD 90
Mark Stiles MD 90
Hawk Corrick MD 92
Mark Sherwood MD 93
DJ Anderson MD 94
Jimmy Baker MD 94
Rick Honn MD 94
John Buck MD 96
Steve Ritenour MD 96
Andrew Francis MD 98
Steve Simpson MD 98
Tom Transtrum MD 98
Justin Duncan MD 100
George Brown MD 101
Colin C. VA 101
Jens Svenson MD 103
Evan Uhl VA 105
Ken Winkleman VA 105
John Merhi MD 109
Kai Svenson MD 225
We finished lumped together near the top. Sparky is demoralized by finishing behind me. Trip didn’t fair as well on the day. There’s an incredibly complicated points system here. Basically everyone earns their team 1 point for playing. There are some placement points for finishing in the top of a division. Extra points for being really young or really old or really female
Sunday: Giles Run (Virginia)
The course is offically knows as Giles Run Meadow at Laurel Hill Park. There are two important things to know about Giles Run:
1: There are thorn bushes everywhere. It is the thorniest course I’ve ever played. Not only are the thorns disc eaters, but they are all played as Out of Bounds. The unofficial course motto is: You’ll lose two discs a round, but find two others!
2: The fancy course name can’t hide the fact that the course is built on the grounds of the old Lorton prison!
I sign in with Bud:
As mentioned above, a lot of discs get lost at this course:
Seeing as how I’m only sporting a Roadrunner, a Leopard, a Coyote and a KC Aviar I’m thinking that I may be finishing these 18 holes with an empty bag and a putter. I had considered loading up Sparky style, but decided that would be the gutless route to go.
Warming up pre-players meeting with El Tie Dye and Bob from Virginia we notice and comment on how low the baskets are here. They appear to be 1′ to 1.5′ lower to the ground than normal. It’s totally bizarre.
El Tye Die had mentioned that to ensure total victory Maryland would only have to make sure that we brought enough players down to the Prison to be within 27 of the total Virginia players throwing on Sunday. If we kept them from having no more than that many players than us, they could sweep all the placement positions and we could still win. I nod knowingly during his discourse feigning comprehension. Naturally the Maryland turn out was El Tie Dye, Sparky, me and two other discers. Virginia had 30 something. El Tie Dye starts doing calculations in his head and determines that we can still pull this out as long as one of us places i.e. gets all heroic on Virginia. The three of us have managed to be on the same card and Bud has courteously started us on #5 right next to the parking lot. We’re escorted/chaperoned/guarded by Virginian Evan. There’s OB everywhere. We warm up several practice drives trying to wiggle our way down the alley that is the fairway. There is limited success. The round begins. I go promptly OB. We move on to #6. I’m annoyed. I crank the Roadrunner. Virginians gasp. There’s a longest putt made contest on this hole.
YDGH throws down the gauntlet by hyzering this one in. As the day progresses players pass me and say:
Awesome putt Hawk.
Apparently it’s still standing…
We move on as all four of us get to enjoy some OB/thorn action.
Hole 8 is a death march across a creek to the backside of the course where the holes get longer and there are literally fields of thornbushes lining the fairway. Sparky opts to take the path less traveled to hole #8:
Sparky tees off on #8 also known as…I’m sure there’s a basket up there somewhere:
Evan follows Sparky, but fails to stay in bounds:
On hole #9 I make the first attempt at losing the Roadrunner as I turn it over into a wasteland of trees and thornbushes. El Tie Dye finds it for me. El Tie Dye tees off on #10:
On #14 things got really interesting. I tee off with the Roadrunner and hit an old building that is surrounded by a chain link fence. Tom “Ironman” Coffin of Virginia is up ahead on an adjacent hole as as my drive thuds into the side of the building. He helpfully calls out:
That’s OB!
So now I’m convinced I’m down to 3 discs. Evan points out a hole in the fence running along the right side of the fairway leading up to the building. He suggests I go through it to retrieve my disc. I do that. Sparky offers to lug my bag up the fairway. I don’t take the camera. This is a comedy mistake. Once I’ve crawled through the hole I’m in a thornbush woods. There is no going forward. The ground is only 2′ wide and then it drops downhill for 25′. That’s going to be the only way forward towards the building. I repel down to the valley floor. I start jogging in the direction of the fairway towards the building. There is another old farm/prison building down here. The only things missing at this point are barking hound dogs and Sidney Poitier. I get to the building to find out…that the building is totally surrounded by a fence! The chain link fence is about 12′ high on this side also. There are several downed trees leaning against the fence. I find someones blue Destroyer. I tomahawk it over everything to Ironman on the the fairway. I’m going to have to climb/walk up a tree trunk to the top of the fence. I do that and then realize I don’t really want to jump down 12′ to the ground. That’s when I go all Tom Cruise Mission Impossible and jump off the top of the fence grabbing an adjacent tree that is leaning past the fence into the buildings yard and swing/drop to the ground. El Tie Dye directs me to the Roadrunner on the other side of the building. I toss it over the fence. Now I have to get out. Fortunately the fence has some of those horizontal support poles on the inside and I use that to scamper up the 8′ part on the course side. My second shot from the fence is actually rather nice but I miss the putt…low. Missing low at the Prison is double shame.
We venture on. #15 sees Evan launch his Leopard into a thornbush field. He writes it off. Hole #16 is 900′+ long. My second drive lands in the clearing. I’ve got a look at the basket. I launch the Roadrunner and it’s a beautiful fast flat throw that roars past the basket and sails off into this:
Yes Sparky dug the camera out of my bag while El Tie Dye and I were looking for the Roadrunner. There was no finding it. We believe it is somewhere between the white trees and the road. It will never be found. As you can tell, Sparky was loving this:
I move on with three discs. El Tie Dye offers me a Sidewinder from his bag, but I thank him and decline. The NutSac credo says four discs are enough to start with. I’ll finish with the Leopard, Coyote and Aviar. Sparky is feeling confident now that I’ve lost 25% of my bag that he can avenge himself for his one stroke defeat at my hands the day before. He needs this putt to salvage a circle four on #18:
He misses. I make from the opposite side in a head wind for a three. El Tie Dye makes his 3 putt:
Did I mention that this course is built on the grounds of an abandoned prison?
El Tie Dye drives on hole #1:
Followed by Sparky:
Sparky saves a three on #1:
Evan gets his groove on teeing off on #2:
Yeah that’s a prison over there:
With one hole to go Sparky is giddy that he has tied things up with me. Personally I’m focused on trying to place and overcome the odds stacked against team Maryland in pulling this thing out against Virginia. Hole #4 has an elevated tee, you drive across a valley through a narrow opening onto the elevated green. Of course both sides are totally OB. Sparky drives, hits some early branches and falls into a wooden fenced in area of OB. I giggle. I drive the Leopard onto the green. Dagger Mr. Sherwood! Sparky retrieves his drive of shame:
Note the lowered head and white topped OB sticks. Back at tourney central El Tie Dye reviews the board and it appears that all three of us have placed in the Silver division ensuring total victory for Maryland:
Silver -
Chadd O. VA 66
Tom A. VA 70
Hawk C. MD 72
Mark S. MD 74
Sharky MD 74
Rob G. VA 75
Evan U. VA 78
Ken W. VA 80
El Tie Dye and I dig into the BBQ, mac & cheese and beans provided by our Virginia hosts. We won the tourney but they won lunch. Sparky takes some m&c and beans and sprints to his car racing out of the prison parking lot. We don’t see him again. Then there are cookies and brownies. At one point during the meal I call El Tie Dye over.
Hawk: We just won this thing on their home course.
El Tie Dye: I know. It’s awesome. We had no one show up and still punked them.
Hawk: Exactly. There are like 35 of them and 4 of us left.
El Tie Dye: Yeah…
Hawk: We need to get out of here now!
My longest putt made held up. I make my prison escape. It was disappointing that so few fellow Marylanders made the trek down on Sunday to help defeat the Virginians. Apparently the Virginians feel the same way based on this post El Tie Dye shared with me from the Virginia message board:
ironmon wrote:
So… If k.Wallace, j weaver, p.smith and /or m.rice played silver and we had one more player at Giles we would have won?
And HAWK won the ice bowl for MD?!?!?!?!?!
Mother f’in A how will we ever live THAT down!!!!
More photos in the Yahoo! group.
Feel the charity,
YDGH
